I appreciated the sheer honesty in this piece. With similar motives, I had ditched my job and traveled all over SEA and stayed in Chiang Mai in 2015. Felt the same way about the DN scene there — a lot of pyramid schemes and mediocre/privileged personalities that drove me away. I ended up staying near a Muay Thai gym for $83USD a month and only hung out with Thais for 4 months. Made lifelong friends with local designers and passionate educators, so there are good people in the community.
I also like how you articulated the bit about your worldview following you where you go. It’s true, and what a lot of travellers have to learn the hard way — Going to a beautiful place doesn’t resolve your inner conflicts. Hope you are doing better now. If you ever feel inspired to live on the road again, look into staying with local communities, and doing work on the side to grow them. It’s incredibly rewarding.