On Kalahan Getting Himself Suspended
Hey there, fellow Amtgarders. I’m here to talk about the recent suspension of Kalahan Ridgeborn. I don’t play in Silvermoon, though I’ve met quite a few of you on my occasional adventures to Blackspire. As many of you know, I’m transgender. I informed the monarchy of his park (Silvermoon) and the leaders of his fighting company (Black Company) that Kalahan had outed me in a mutual social group, and that I recommended they keep an eye on him. The former decided to suspend him for it, in conjunction with a history of causing trouble.
The short and sweet summary, before I dive into things: Kalahan is absolutely a transphobe (which sucks) and outed me, maliciously attacked my character, and said some incredibly upsetting things about me and my identity. (Which is bullying, by any measure.)
I met Kalahan at Shattered Kingdoms this summer, after interacting with him online briefly via the Paragon Academy discord server. I mentioned that I’d be at the event, and I was a little stoked to meet an internet friend in person. (Very few of the active members of the server play Amtgard anywhere near my home park.) He used my pronouns in public there — at first — though he seemed a bit taken aback. It’s hard to describe why, but I had a sense of foreboding then. He misgendered me a handful of times during and after the battlegames at the end of the event, but I figured it was just a mistake. People make mistakes, right? No reason to assume malice. Even if I was carrying a shield that literally says what my pronouns are that he definitely saw.
Well, it turns out that Kalahan is a malicious transphobe after all. It turns out that he decided to not only out me as transgender to a number of people who shared that server, but also call me a tranny, a trap, a boy, and incessantly HE. (Always emphasized!) He even went as far as to attack my character, despite us barely knowing one another. He did this in a household chat — admittedly not the main server — but one entirely populated by members of the Paragon Academy server. He knew everyone on the PA server considered me a woman, and he decided to smash that island of peace because he could. Fortunately, someone on that server with a conscience let me know that Kalahan was doing this.
When you’re a trans woman, people don’t always treat you like other women. It’s nice to have spaces where people simply know me as the woman I am, especially online spaces where my chromosomes are fairly irrelevant. Telling them couldn’t really cause any good for me, and I’m not doing them any harm by it. And the danger if I did! Why, I’d open myself up to harassment by malicious transphobes like Kalahan. Since he decided to share my trans-ness around the server, I’ve been having to deal with all sorts of questions about being trans, and all sorts of unsolicited statements about whether or not people respect me and/or trans people at large. All I wanted to do was talk Amtgard with fellow Amtgarders. I could do without the harassment and othering.
I shared the above image so that Kalahan’s Amt-neighbors could better understand the monster in their midst. I know our community is home to a lot of rad LGBTQ+ people, and I want to ensure that those people are safe from someone who clearly has no respect for them or their well-being. When Silvermoon’s monarchy asked me for some more context, I was fortunate enough to have a friend willing to supply it. Below is a sampling, though by no means exhaustive.
I share this because I have heard that Kalahan is claiming that he ‘just’ outed me. The fact is that he decided to cause harm to me because I am trans, and I am certain he will continue to do so if allowed to. If not harm to me, then to other trans and LGBT people in your kingdom. I’m a bit appalled that I’m in a situation where I felt I had to share his hate with y’all, but that’s just how things are. Sorry for any drama, I just want to open some eyes.
-Heron Lamana of Greenwood Keep