The “Where’s Waldo” of Privilege, in One Commentary

I had the misfortune of coming across this commentary in the Washington Post. It came off so shockingly, brazenly privileged that I was amazed the author’s last name isn’t Romney.

Did you know that your kids will graduate without debt and have a better time in college if you can just put together $66,000 for one child to attend? Plus scholarships, books and those paid internships that are available virtually everywhere. It’s so easy. The author shows you how. All you have to do is:

  • Be born early in Gen X, so you can take personal advantage of rock-bottom college tuition, a great job after graduation and lower housing prices.
  • Be super healthy. And if you do have minor health problems, just use that great, inexpensive, employer-sponsored health insurance that people with good, well-paying jobs used to have.
  • Land your perfect career job right after graduation so that your retirement planning is almost fully-funded by the time you plan to have kids.
  • Have an extended family that never needs any of your time or money, so that you can put every extra scrap toward saving.
  • Not be bound by any of the unmentionable problems in life, like poverty.
  • Only have healthy children who can thrive and get fabulous grades in any educational environment. Bonus if they’re geniuses who don’t have any troublesome conditions that often plague people with high intelligence.
  • Make sure your kids know that you are calling 99.99% of the shots made for their future. It is your investment, after all.

Remember, if you can’t provide this basic need for your children, you’re setting them up for a lifetime of misery. Debt for any purpose is the devil’s yoke. But all of this is totally manageable for basically everyone. I’m sure you can pull it off.

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