PART THREE OF THREE
Journey Through College: The Connections
The people I met, the connections I made, the person I grew into — from a naive teen to an adult with aspirations abound — all during the four years of undergraduate college
During my last ten days of undergraduate college at NITK Surathkal, I wrote about ten of my most treasured memories, lessons and musings, one day at a time. This was shared in a private medium, which I later archived.
About 1.5 years later, I decided to make them public, and shared them on Medium split in three parts.
Below is part three — the final one— revolving around the relationships I had with the people I met, the connections I made and finally, about myself.
4. A Friend
We have friends to talk to, to go out with, to have fun with, to laugh and cry with. We trust them with some of our secrets, and we secure some of their own. Some of our most memorable moments in our lives are with, and due to, our friends.
But friends are more than just that, aren’t they? Some friends are also, like a ‘horcrux’. A part of you lives within them, figuratively, even when you leave. The part in which they have watched you grow and mature as an individual. The part in which they have witnessed your struggles, or maybe, when you have witnessed theirs. You soon realize that you have unknowingly adopted some of their vocabulary, mannerisms, queer habits and sometimes outright stupid quirks — and suddenly, they seem to have become a part of you. In this sense, a part of your friend lives within you, too, even when they go away, and you become their ‘horcrux’.
I prefer not making friends for the sake of making friends; I also take my time to accept or seek friendship. When I first came to NITK, I had no friend from my past. Every person was new to me. I spent a lot of time alone. I was very selective in who I opened up to, and of course it is hard to cultivate a strong bond without talking about what you are passionate about, what your ideals are. As I started my final semester at NITK, I began to doubt my own methods. Maybe I would have had a few more friends, had I opened up a bit more easily? I felt it was too late to make a friend now, but this person proved me wrong.
In a brief period of just a few months, I have found a close friend in her. I have come to love her little quirks and habits. Of course we are different people, but we have found common footing on many aspects that are important to us. She has surprised me often with new ideas, new perspectives. I am sure I have absorbed more of her peculiar quirks than I realize. It is surprising, really, to see how fast a friendship can grow, and has made me reconsider many of the assumptions I made about friendship and life.
I am glad I met her. I am glad I met some very beautiful people at NITK, and can today consider a few of them my friends.
I am glad, I came to NITK.
3. Two Men
What distinguishes men from boys? Men think about tomorrow, boys live for the day. Men are experts at failing and starting over, boys are happy-go-lucky, whatever come their way. Men know what is to be a boy, they cherish the memory and go on, but boys don’t realize that they are transforming into men, a tiny bit each day. Men realize that they are the society, they can build it or break it, but boys are ignorant about what the society shouts, about what people say.
Also for the record, donning a suit does not make a boy a man, understanding this fact does.
I do not remember when I met these fine young men. Back in first year when I met them, they were just boys — clueless boys with no trace of manhood. One had ambitions that he murdered with time, other was still recovering from a sappy, boy-romantic, heartbreak tale that lost relevance with time. We were young boys aspiring to be men, telling each other how the other one is doing it wrong, trying to teach each other how to live, pretending to be experts in a field we knew nothing about.
We raced through these ~four years in no time. I watched silently, smiling, as one understood the value of discipline and integrity, who clearly defined what he wanted, worked towards it without settling for a compromise. He is a man today, determined to leave his mark on the world. I observed the other, smiling to myself, as he understood the flaws in his ways and used every disappointment, every failure as an opportunity to change something in his life, to get there slowly, but surely someday. He is man too, today, ready to take on the world.
I grew with these two, engaging in activities I rather not mention. I made a man out of myself, learning from their failures. When I failed, I knew that I could rely on them, if I ever needed a shoulder, a hand.
I am grateful I met them. I am grateful I met some others too, who unknowingly taught me how to live.
I was taught so much, at NITK.
2. A Companion
Some things look ordinary to most, yet they signify something unimaginably precious to some. They are a symbol to an event, a memory, a time when they experienced some of the strongest emotions they have ever experienced. This picture is of such a thing to me.
I found a companion in NITK.
I found a person whose presence would fill me with refreshing energy. Whose words could, figuratively, make my heart dance in joy, or could also shred it to pieces, as and when needed. A person for whom I exclusively withdrew all my defenses, vulnerable and bare, my mouth becoming just an organ to my speaking inner self, filters absent. A person who understood me, sometimes quicker than myself, so well that the person could probably be writing this text and no one would realize the difference. Someone I grew so much with, someone who witnessed me grow, becoming stronger by the year, wiser by the day.
I gave a lot to the person. Sometimes, I went out of my way. I got more in return, coming directly my way. I could see them bare, as the defenses they put up were no longer there. I saw a beautiful person, a child even, who had found a friend — a friend in the child within me. The two children grew to be the best of friends, learning to ‘adult’ together, as they experienced the world through each other’s eyes.
For the first time, I had so many first times with another being. We grew so close, so close. Oh, so close.
One fine day, I gave it all away.
The ~four years of my life have laid the foundation for the man who I am going to be for the next many years. A man whose ambitions are young today, but convictions stronger than ever. A man who today has a vision. A man who owes too much to this companion, who believes he would not have got here, without this companion by his side.
I loved, and was loved, so much, at NITK.
1. Me, Myself & I
It has always been about me.
I went to NITK with great expectations, with greater aspirations. I remember my first many months of disappointment, as I discovered that it did not meet my expectations. I remember those days when I complained with the crowds about how this place was a disgrace. But I also remember how, with time, I discovered all that the place had to offer, the platforms and opportunities, and how I did not make the most of them. I could not hide behind the facade of ‘disappointment’ anymore. If anyone has to be blamed for missed opportunities, it would be me.
I learnt a lot here, learnt values that I cannot imagine learning anywhere else. I experienced emotions that I never did before. Over here, I experienced love. Over here, I understood the essence of learning. The beauty of politics, the art of governance. Of the laws of leadership. But most importantly, I understood the virtue of selfishness.
In retrospect, every act of kindness of mine, every little thing that I did for someone or something, has been for my own personal benefit. I have helped people, sometimes going out of my way, primarily because helping them has made me happy. I have done it for that happiness. It could be so, that seeing them happy is what made me happy, but even then, I have done it with a clear end goal — make myself happy. How can one do something selflessly, and yet with a pure heart?
I made many memories at NITK, with a few friends. I cannot see them sad, because it hurts me. I want to make them happy, because that is what it does to me. And as the years go by, I will be there for them, as they will bring joy to me in life. At NITK, I have learnt to love truly, to love selfishly.
I have changed drastically over the years I spent at NITK. So many new avenues have opened up, so many new ideas have flown in. The lens through which I saw the world back then has been replaced. I leave NITK with aspirations bigger than ever before. So many have influenced me over the years here, and I will ever be grateful to them. I see the world challenge me, mockingly, and today, I am ready.
Good-bye, NITK.
Part One:
Part Two:
If you’d like to share your views, maybe have an off-shooting conversation from here, feel free to message me on Instagram — where I had originally posted this series. You can find me using the handle @hexbioc at just about any online platform I use.
