We wake up at 9AM. He says Don’t you have to go to class? I say I have 25 minutes. I feel a twinge offended, as if he is hustling me out the door. But then something shifts, and there is a heat and an outlet for this frustration. And he brings his force against me, moving me across the bed and bearing his weight down on me. And this arouses and melts me, and makes me feel close to him again.

He leaves the bed and goes to the bathroom. I watch him walk across the room, and when he returns I ask him if he had an ankle injury. He says it was a long time ago. He asks why do I ask. I say because it seems his ankles are stiff. He says they are in the morning. He says it’s due to his age. I think he’s joking. But I’ve noticed in his walk a certain hitch. I think now it is because of his ankles and feet. Even though I can still see the boy in him, I can also see how he is becoming an old man.

Later that day I write to Will. I tell him about this lover, and the belt and the rope.

Will says he can be harder on me with the belt. He says that a willingness to work for it is part of what makes kink deep and meaningful.

My lover comes over that evening. I tell him, Will says you can be harder on me with your belt.

He blushes and says, Who’s Will?