Trying To Please Everyone Is Selfish.

You want everyone to like you. You make it known that you’re a team player. You don’t want to agree with everyone’s assessment that “Todd is most certainly a dick,” because you don’t want to close that door.

Well, you’re being a dick. Not only to everyone else, but to yourself. The reality is, you can’t please everyone. You have to be strategic in who you devote your time to. This is why most of us only can manage one great love in their lives. This is why we tend to have one career. We can’t be everything to everyone. Why? Because as much as you try, you really have no control over others’ perceptions. When you try to fix others’ problems all the time, you’re downplaying their hard work. So you’re trying to please everyone, not for them, but for you.

Sometimes being accommodating to everyone leads to you being ineffective at the things you need to actually do. You have a job to do, and if you’re trying to do everyone else’s, you can bet no one is there to pick up after you. Because that’s the corner you’ve painted yourself into. If you’re worried about how others perceive you, concentrate on that job. No one else is there to do it. If you do it effectively, there’s nothing left for interpretation. You don’t hear many complaints like, “I really hate how they do their job so well.” You hear things like, “I wish they’d just concentrate on the thing I need them to.”

Ultimately, you’re getting in your own way. This is what keeps you in the office after the sun goes down. Stop worrying about things you really can’t effect, don’t dwell on the problems that surround you, and do your job. Of course you can help others. Just don’t be the one trying to fix everything.

And for the record, I haven’t met a Todd who wasn’t a dick.