Political Pokémon

The US 2016 election cycle and Pokémon and are two major subjects people are talking about these days. What better way to talk about our political landscape by imagining what Pokemon characters match our government leaders?

Paul Ryan = Charmeleon

Paul Ryan = Charmeleon

Charmeleon is young, hotheaded, and destructive by nature. It constantly seeks to battle new opponents to prove himself, and calms down only when it wins.

John Kerry = Blastoise

John Kerry = Blastoise

Recognized as a symbol of longevity, it is a battle-hardened veteran. It is able to destroy foes with its trained weaponry. The scratches on its shell are evidence of this Pokémon’s toughness as a battler.

George W. Bush = Slowpoke

George W. Bush = Slowpoke

Slow and dopey, it takes a while for it to feel pain when under attack. It is quite content to loll about without worrying about the time. It is always vacantly lost in thought, but no one knows what it is thinking about.

Hillary Clinton = Ninetails

Hillary Clinton = Ninetails

Ninetails is very smart and very vengeful. Grabbing one of its tails could result in a 1000-year curse. Rumors of it’s greatness are constantly debated. Possesses many unknown supernatural powers that researchers can’t predict or define.

Tim Kaine = Metapod

Tim Kaine = Metapod

Metapod is tough, resilient, and difficult to penetrate. It is prone for greatness, yet initially appears boring. It quietly endures hardships while awaiting evolution.

Mike Pence = Psyduck

Mike Pence = Psyduck

Psyduck is always tormented by headaches. It is capable of powerful psychic powers, but does not intend to do so, and doesn’t recall that it has used them. That is why it always looks puzzled. If its headache peaks, it may exhibit odd powers, yet seems unable to recall such previous episodes though.

Melania Trump = Jynx

Melania Trump = Jynx

This Pokémon appears to move to a rhythm of its own, as if it were dancing. It wiggles its hips as it walks to seduce others. It speaks using a language that sounds human, yet research is under way to determine what is being said.

Donald Trump = Fearow

Donald Trump = Fearow

This Pokémon dates back many years. If it senses danger, it flies high and away, instantly. It shoots itself suddenly high into the sky, then plummets down to strike its prey. It cleverly uses its large, thin mouth to destroy small foes on the ground.

Joe Biden = Machoke

Joe Biden = Machoke

This very tough, and durable Pokémon never gets tired. Machoke’s actions are so powerful, it must regulate its motions. It helps people with tough, physically demanding labor, and willingly does hard work for other people.

President Barack Obama = Dragonite

President Barack Obama = Dragonite

An intelligent, vastly powerful, and multi-talented Pokémon that leads lost ships in a storm to safety. Rarely seen, but constantly circles and travels the globe, searching for people in need of rescue.

Michelle Obama = Arcanine

Michelle Obama = Arcanine

A Pokémon long been admired for its beauty, many people are charmed by its grace and fast abilities. It’s proud and regal appearance has captured the hearts of people, and its magnificent bark conveys a sense of majesty. Anyone hearing it can’t help but grovel before it.

Dick Cheney = Mewtwo

Dick Cheney = Mewtwo

Mewtwo was created solely for battling. It thinks only of defeating its foes, and it’s said to have the most savage heart of all Pokémon. It usually remains motionless to conserve energy.

You can also follow me on Instagram, Twitter, and Medium for more content.