Who we are and what other see is a totally different thing.
Have you ever wondered how others see you? What is the first impression others get when they meet you? What do you represent to others? Are you a reference? — The real question is why do we care so much of how we are perceived instead of trying to know ourselves better before the next coffee with friends? Some of us try so much to follow up with what others assumed they are that they own it, never truly getting to know themselves (reason of which a lot of people in the world can’t deal with solitude). Then there’s also others of us who understand what is cool and what is not and try to fit into that measure as much as possible, the problem is that they are now limited into something that they are not which results into a huge social exhaustion (celebrities do this a lot).
To be honest I’ve been in both places but I am now in the third. I forced myself to get to know me as much as I could and ultimately I learned that I wasn’t what others told me I was, they simply interpreted my behaviour and took it as if it was coming from a mean point that never was. For a long time in my life I actually believed that I was a mean person and that I was full of myself because my self confidence bothered so much the people around me that they felt uncomfortable and called me arrogant. That negative part of me had to be fixed so I became so humble that I lost my self confidence. Thankfully I got it back but the point is — I was never mean or arrogant. You see where I am going with this? That horrible thing that you were described as whenyou were young was actually awesome and you stopped being yourself because you didn’t want to bother other people. And let me just add here that anyone that makes you feel like you are “too much to handle” is too small for you to be around. I wish I knew this at that time. I was an epic kid with interesting choices and definitely super intelligent, but it took me a while to see that.
Today, what I think about image is that if you focus too much in understanding other’s point of view and changing it you will never act like yourself because you are too focused in what you want to fix rather than what you truly are. In order to live comfortably and to pass the best image of yourself you have to get comfortable in your own skin. To know that you’re so unique no one could ever try to be yourself and be successful. And this is what is so amazing about image, we are all different and some of us use image to fit in rather than to express who we are. If I go out with a guy and he agrees with me all the time I will get bored, life is boring when we all do the same, and what is worse is that I know that guy had an opinion but he didn’t expressed it because he wanted to be accepted. If you don’t care about acceptance you will live expressing yourself more and more and that is what I believe we are here for. We don’t get to be here forever so mind as well have fun and be as much as we can and try different things that we find interest, never being afraid to express it, if you get judged it’s not you who is wrong but the other person that is too small for you to be around.
A few years ago:
- Everyone is talking about how much you have changed.
- You know, I didn’t really changed, I just became more of who I am.
Image is something that is constantly changing so why wouldn’t you? I honestly don’t care if I don’t wear heels for an entire month and suddenly wearing heels becomes my thing. If that is what I am feeling in that day then that is what truly matters (even if I promised I would never wear heels again), the honesty is not on following up what you always preached but in what you now know as truth. When you know better you do better. I express my opinion here in a way that I might touch the same topic again and explain it in a different way, but we are constantly learning more about things and about ourselves, and if I let that take care of what I write then I would never ever write to you again until I had everything figured out. This is my image today, tomorrow there will be something new.
See you in the next one