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Stop Playing Safe

Playing safe is ironically the most dangerous thing you can do.

And I don’t need much to prove you that. You don’t ask her on a date, a week later she’s with another guy. You don’t take that trip and you spend the rest of your life regretting it. You don’t try, because you are afraid to loose. It’s the same feeling as being in the casino and not wanting to play. You don’t believe whether in your skills or in the casino. The risk is too high, so better keep the money for things that I can predict the result. This is actually how the majority of people live — afraid.

If I can convince you today to stop doing it, your life will shift.

Fear is associated with lack. Lack of intelligence, lack of money, lack of success, lack of health, and so on. You have this belief that there’s not enough for you, so you need to be cautious with the little that you can get. There’s enough for you, if you are willing to make it a priority. If there has been a lack, whether in health, money or love, you simply haven’t been putting in the work, and probably you don’t even want to deal with it, because last time you checked, it didn’t look good. It’s like having the kitchen dirty and not wanting to deal with it, spending your days in the other rooms. You eventually have to go there and you feel horrible about it — stupid kitchen, why won’t it clean itself for me like the other people’s kitchens, every time I visit someone the kitchen looks good! — It gets to a point that it stinks so much it starts bothering you even when you’re not in there.

What I mean is, for god sake clean your kitchen! Deal with it! It will not be pleasant at first because you stopped dealing with it for a while (and putting the dishes in the sink is not dealing with it!). Be willing to get dirty and to spend as many hours as it takes. But deal with it because once you do keeping it clean will be easier. Whether it is money, relationships or health — go all the way! You know what to do! You know what people who have money do, you know what people who have dates do, and you know what people who are healthy do! You know it, you are simply not willing to go in there and put in the work. There’s nothing that others are doing that you can’t. Thinking otherwise is an excuse based on a belief that doesn’t serve you well — it’s bad. The thing is, it won’t change for you, you will have to make a different choice for it to change.

Another thing about lack: it lives is more in your head, that in your reality. Think of it like going home always taking the longest path because you believe the shortcut is dodgy! You never took that road, but someone who takes the longest one told you, and you Don’t Want To Risk. Don’t follow the advice of people who are not like who you would want to become, and even if they are, you are still allowed to doubt it. Let them say “I told you so” because sometimes they will also hear “you were wrong!”. Playing safe only seems better because you never get to know the answer. So the one who wants to go forward with life will have to get all the answers. Whether if it’s good or bad, at least now you know it. You didn’t assume that it wasn’t possible, you went for the answer.

Now what you are training is the muscle that keeps your mind open. Because even if it seems obvious that will not work out for you, you should still try. The majority means nothing when you don’t know where you stand. Are you with the majority? How do you know? Did you try? And if you did, is there or is there not a chance for you to get different results? Failing a hundred times and getting it right in the next one is not legend factor, the main thing that makes special people special, is persistence. They persist after failing because failing five times is not failing five times, the only time they feel they’ve failed is the moment they give up. I am telling you this because this is the way I think. The five times you counted simply mean that it is not being easy, but you didn’t failed, you’re still working on it.

If these haven’t convinced you to get out of the comfort zone and do that thing, that adventurous thing, that you don’t know the result — think of how much fun your life will be when you start moving around touching things and making changes. And if something goes wrong, at least now you know the answer, and next time you will go through it sliding in front of others, because now you know better.

“It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all — in which case, you fail by default.” — J.K.Rowling

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