Expectations — ‘a strong belief that something will happen or be the case’

Being a 20 year old girl I often find myself in situations in which I set my expectations too high. Whether that is in my job, at home or even a night out! But is having high expectations a bad thing?

I often hear ‘just don’t expect anything and you won’t be disappointed’ While I do agree with this statement — if we don’t expect anything, will we lose motivation to gain anything? Confusing, right?

Personally, I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with having a high expectation of yourself. You can make them as high and as achievable as you want them to be. My Grandma once told me to always reach for the moon, because even if I missed, I’ll always have reached the stars. But, having to deal with other people’s expectations of yourself is hard!! Especially as a young person, the pressure put on young adults is tough. At age 17/18 you are expected to know exactly what you want to do with your life. Whether that is choosing the right career path or university course/campus.

When someone expects something of you, without realising it that expectation becomes your goal. (Even though you know it may not be achievable!) It starts by people comparing you with others. It could be as simple as your parents comparing you with an older sibling. Maybe they could ride a bike at 5 years old and you couldn’t — while this may be a small situation in the great scheme of things, does it make you any less of a person?

When we don’t meet others expectations it is very easy to fall into the criticisms of ourselves and the people around us. And then we shame ourselves for ‘failing’. But have we failed? Or more importantly, who have we failed? Ourselves or someone else's opinion?

It takes a lot of courage for somebody to truly be themselves, especially today when you are judged from pretty much as soon as you walk out the door. But, no one else is you. No one else feels like you, no one truly understands you apart from you. You know what you are capable of (even if sometimes it doesn’t feel like much.) At the end of the day, it’s your life and whatever you do on a daily basis is for you.

Just like expectations, we take other peoples opinions of ourselves and turn them into our auto-pilot. They become our day to day concerns and suddenly we end up facing situations in which we know we may not be comfortable just to make the people around us happy. Is this okay? Or should we sacrifice other peoples happiness for our own?

Regardless of how or why you think we are on the planet, we are all here for a reason. If we weren’t needed, why would we be here? You’re one of 1.75 billion. Be the one who inspires, be the one who is so happy people can’t help but smile at you, be the person you know deep down you’re capable of.

Be you & most importantly, don’t let anyone change you.