The Dirty Little Secret about Regret
I’m writing this because everyone seems to talk about having “no regrets”. There was a viral article that came out where a nurse interviewed a bunch of elderly people on their deathbeds and asked them to reflect back on their lives and share what they wish they would have done differently. Some of the common answers were working less, spending more time with people they loved, and being more of themselves instead of being who others wanted them to be.
It’s simple — when you are on your deathbed, you will have thousands of regrets. When you choose to go down one path, you are also choosing not to go down a million other paths. If you choose to go travel the world and vlog, you may miss out on business opportunities with your friends. If you decide to move to a bigger city, you will miss out on running into your potential future spouse at the coffee shop a month after you moved, and so on. Give yourself a break and use your powerful imagination for good, not evil. The decisions you make are the right decisions, even if they’re the wrong decisions, because you made them. (Yes I know that sounds very la-la and foo-foo, but it’s true).
Rest assure, every decision you make will make sense when you’re 95 years old and looking back on your life. You need to have this mentality otherwise the attention and energy you direct towards your past and what “could have happened”, will simply eat you alive. Sure you will regret — but it will be OK, I promise — hell, you’re lucky you even got a shot at life. The chances of you being alive are so against the odds it’s not even fathomable; here are the stats.
All in all; be grateful, make decisions with confidence, commit to them and accept them, and remember that your FOMO (fear of missing out) is normal. I’ve had many times where I felt like I was missing out because of a decision I made — so I felt bad about the decision I didn’t make, and couldn’t enjoy the decision I did make; lose/lose. The dirty little secret about regret —regret is your imagination being used for bad. You’re creating the great future you’ll miss out on — but that’s just your mind controlling you instead of you controlling your mind. Find the good in the decisions you make and rewrite the narrative in a positive light, don’t look back, and move forward because it’ll all be alright.