Day 152/366

We suffer more in imagination than in reality.

• Seneca

AI

Day 31/05

Wake up: 6h am

Action: Alone with the apprentice, good kid, very stubborn that son of bitch, has some good ideas, but unfortunately we can do some of his ideas because some: 1) has a lot of work involved, 2) it’s kinda unnecessary to do so and 3) we can simply do something that it may be ruin some other peoples work.

Anyway, we’re alone, and we're running against time, we have to work fast because if not we will be working under the sun, something happen, and we can’t finish, for the first time I was in a lot of stress because I was thinking about what the boss will said, if the kid did something stupid I yell at him, not at him directly or calling names at him, but yelling like: “Why you need my tool if you have yours on the bag, go get it, for fuck’s sake”, he did need to hear it but not like that, I should be more calm and responsive, it’s simply not the Stoic way.

I don’t want to be like my boss and my family. Yet, I was thinking what the boss will talk, but in the end it was very calm and comprehensive, during the work I was thinking to my self and saying repeatedly “I suffer more from my imagination than in real life” and it was true. I shouldn’t be in stress, the work didn’t work because the people who are not qualified did the mess and I try to resolve it, I didn’t solve it, but I finished the other tasks that I have to do it, so it was okay I guess.

At lunch, I ate something wrong, and I throw up, many times. Got to house early, have a concert to go, but I was scared to go because I was scared to vomit in there, my sister calls me a little bitch and my mother give some pill for it (the puke), I take it and did go to the concert, it was… okay.

The concert was about The Queen, the singer was not Freddie, and he tries to mimic him the way he sings, it was fine, but it was not great. I rather to listening on YouTube and that’s it. For me giving concerts tickets it’s a waste of time and money, don’t get me wrong some are fine and some concerts I really want to go because of the experience (opera, Japanese concerts and others that I’m not remembering), but overall not fan of concerts, still like the concert…. I mean, it’s The Queen music, you can’t go wrong with it.

In work place, some tiler left the new kitchen scrubber on the field, and when he picks it up it was dirty and “bad”, he blames me and the kid for trowing on the ground and leave it there, this guy it’s the most stupid cunt that I know, he left the scrubber on the ground or outside and not in his work station (it was on second ground) why the fuck will you leave your tools in the place that you will not work? I saw it on the ground close to the trash, so I didn’t pick up, or maybe it was talking to another scrubber, but anyway it doesn’t matter, he shouldn’t leave his tools in another place and there is no way it was our fault, we didn’t even use it. This guy has some problem with us, in the other day he was filling the wall when we were working, and it was very important to us to finished because we want to give the house electricity for HIM and his boss and coworkers to continue to work, he was stubborn, and he leaves us to work while he goes his work on another wall (why he didn’t do in the first place?), later when we didn’t still finish, he was saying that he was waiting on us, and we were holding him up make my boss very stressful, we finished and was doing his job, later we find out that his job that he “finished” was wrong or incomplete, he got yelled at, I smirk. I shouldn’t have done that, what I did was no excuse, even though I want to, I just have to simply go and doing nothing. But man it felt good.

Read:

Learn: Singaporean society

Song: “Houdini” by Eminem

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