Do you Have the Answer for the Caterpillar?
Sara asks with such meaning in her voice, “So, who are you?” She is starring me straight in the eye, (which never bothers me, I appreciate eye contact) but for some reason this eye contact made me feel uncomfortable. I was ready to jump out of my skin or better yet just jump out of her office and drive on home. Instead of thinking of the actual question (which was the golden question) my mind started to wander thinking of the caterpillar from “Alice in Wonderland” when he smokes his hookah with no care in the world and drags out each letter in the word like this: “Whooo arrrrrrre yooouuu?” After realizing Sara was not going to leave her eyes from me until I gave this some thought and came up with an answer; I brought myself to being present.
Life definitely takes on a roller-coaster, and whether we are talking about emotionally, spiritually, psychologically, etc. it brings us closer and closer to our true identity in the world. We slowly but surely begin to find our purpose. We find the authenticity in ourselves that we try and seek in others. I think I can speak for most when I say nobody just stumbles across finding that genuineness with oneself. It can take years of developing who we are. Forbes has a great piece showing the different components of being that person who we strive to be. The qualities mentioned in this read are really focused in on leadership. To me, this does not have to mean of a huge group of people or an organization, but leadership of yourself… being the leader of your life.
Bringing you back to my uncomfortable moment with Sara; I begin to have a bit of a turning point. I tell her I do not know who I am exactly, or what I stand for. I tell her all the things I want to be known for, all of the things that I want people to see in me. I felt like I had an idea of who I was becoming, but I did not have that final spread sheet of an answer of what I thought she was looking for. Sara looked at me with sympathy and smirked while saying, “I know you don’t know who you are, but isn’t going to be an adventure for you to start to learn?” Her question/suggestion made me smile back.
Explore my Friends
One day I wish to be able to give that spreadsheet version of an answer to someone who was to ask who I am, but I know that this is not really possible…nor practical. Moving forward from that day and leaving Sara’s office with a feeling of relief and motivation, I was in the mindset to explore and create who I am in this world. I use the term explore because I do not want to say “find” who I was because like I mentioned earlier, we do not just stumble upon ourselves. It is a journey of exploring the environments around us and how we react in each scenario we are given.