A Girl I Once Knew

How a life altering turn of events, made me a stronger person.

Never, ever again will I allow myself to be a victim.

In 2007, at the age of 17, I had something terrible happen to me. I don’t know if it’s classed as sexual abuse or molestation, but a male adult in a position of power started talking and touching me inappropriately.

I won’t go into detail as I don’t want to relive this again — in fact I think it’d kill me. I’ve also blocked out most of my late teens. I won’t identify the man online as I never reported the crime.

The inappropriate behaviour went on for months. Why? Because, I was a VERY shy, nervous teenager. I was too scared to speak out, partly in fear of not being believed and partly because I knew if I was to report it I’d have to relive every little detail and I was already having suicidal thoughts because of the incidents.

In the 9 years since, I have thankfully stopped reliving/having nightmares, and have somehow managed to block it out! (The human brain is a wonderful thing.) The only existence I have of this time is that it must have happened to a girl I once knew. I guess that’s my coping strategy.

It has only been this year, and only recently (last month) that I have realised that I am more mentally stronger to deal with any inappropriate behaviour, even if it is nothing compared to what happened to that girl I once knew.

The girl I once knew would sit quietly and let people take advantage (in all aspects of life), whereas now, the woman I am will say “no” and voice her opinions.

As much as I’d have wished to have never experienced those awful months back in 2007, I do believe I have become a much more determined, aware and stronger person because of it. Although, I am a lot more angrier at the world and I do tend to see the worst in people (especially men).

But the reason I wanted to write this post is because I was feeling empowered to say:

The girl I once knew died a long time ago
The woman I am now, is not a victim