At that moment, what did you think you’d do with it? What did you end up doing with it?

Thanks for writing this! Can totally feel you as I’m also innately a giver, who loves to connect people and has the ability & resources to do so, who lives on far, far less than $5.000/year but also is extremely uncomfortable monetarizing my giving of connection while feeling pressured to do so (capitalism?). I don’t necessarily agree that following through is tiring and joyless though— if you truly want to help, spend those several months to see it through and make sure everyone is happy; I’d do it even without any compensation if I still have the time and energy and feel like the involved parties wouldn’t mind me staying engaged.

So you made me think about what I’d do with the $100. My first reaction is to give it away as I really don’t think I *need* that $100 to survive(not until I go to grad school and starve, at least!). But I want to use it strategically so that it would amount to more than 3 Broadway rush tickets, and simply donating it to an NGO doesn’t seem as wise (also because the person who gives it to me could donate it directly if they want anyway. I’d like to think they give it to me because they think I can do more with it than simply re-donating it). I think at the moment I’m settling with either putting it in my own Fuck-Off Fund (if I were in a financially insecure place at the time) or giving it to 2–5 other queer women of color in Global South countries to start their own Fuck-Off Funds (depending how far the dollars go in their places of living). Or if I were in a financially comfortable place and living in a Global North country, maybe I can use the money to buy coffee for the young people I’m helping connect.

Or maybe I won’t have to wait for someone to give me $100. Maybe I can give myself $100 and do exactly the things I just came up with. Or I can give you $100 to do something awesome and you can give me $100 to do my things.

Love & snuggles from Saigon x