This is a fantastic piece. I don’t Twitter, so I was unaware of the “$5 exchange” thing. I think you’re right. It is minimizing rape and the long term problems for people after surviving rape. And we don’t need to minimize it.
It goes without saying we also do not need to drum it up — add drama — it has enough horror without that stuff.
I say that because the first thought that came to mind when trying to think of an alternative was:
“Why not compare it to being mauled by a bear?”
Then I was like, wait, am I making a joke right now? And sadly the answer was yes — but I joke when I’m angry so this isn’t as bad as it might sound.
Ok. Ramble over.
I liked the tea analogy because it wasn’t and isn’t an analogy between rape and consensual sex, so I’m not going to get on the unhappy with that video. I showed it to my boy when he was 10. It instantly clicked for him and he gets it. So, I think that video is for 10 year olds.
On the $5 thing — in no freaking way is this cute, funny or appropriate. How do you find a common experience between both men and women to describe the soul death that happens after surviving rape?
How do you explain the shame? Or the burden? Just the other day I saw a person being very kind, trying to counsel a rape survivor and this person asked why the assault was still a burden after so many years.
I thought, “wow, here you are being absolutely loving and compassionate, but you don’t understand what an assault like this does to a human being.”
On one hand I appreciate it — right — I mean how cool that he was still so compassionate without the understanding. On the other hand, it might be an indication that even the most learned, compassionate people — if they’ve never experienced such an attack — does not understand that surviving rape is a LIFE SENTENCE.
Surviving rape is like surviving cancer. You never get over it. You will always carry the scars — whether that’s on your chest after a mastectomy or on your stomach where they cut you open to remove parts of your organs. You will for the rest of your life need to be on high alert for lumps, moles and sudden weight loss. Only this cancer is different. This cancer is the result of someone consciously CHOOSING to give it to you. The rapist is the bad cell that invades every part of your being until you shrink and are no more.
Yes, that is better. It needs work, but it is definitely closer to the reality of being a rape survivor.
I would know. I’m one more than once.
Thank you for standing up for me.