Dearest Gutbloom,

You are adorable.

I’ve taken it upon myself to kidnap the Chinese Gutbloom. I’ve given him a nice place to live. He has a very nice laptop too. He only THINKS he’s posting to his Chinese blog!

I’ve set up his blog not to post but to instead “print_screen” and mailto:notchinesegutbloom@notchgb.com. I have sent you a private note — of which you cannot see on mobile device s— with the password. You will receive your first post entitled:

The Tao of Gutbloom

Taste word vinegar — Shanghai

upon log in.

You’re very welcome,

-Cyborg