Here’s another analogy —
Co-worker shows up to their colleague’s sibling’s funeral. The sibling died suddenly in a car crash caused by a drunk driver.
Co-worker says to the person who is mourning their sibling, “life sucks some times, just the other day I stubbed my toe.”
In other words, “how can I make this about ME?” “How can I shift the focus, energy and support my co-worker is receiving (and CLEARLY NEEDING) back to ME?”
This isn’t just disingenuous. It’s a manipulative ploy — a tactic. Whether we are aware that this IS the truth or not, that IS what it IS.
It is emotionally abusive.
It needs to stop.
I’m tired of people hurting others and crying ignorance. There’s NO excuse for it. I’m tired of sugar coating it too.
If you wouldn’t appreciate it while you were managing grief — DO NOT SAY IT OR DO IT TO SOMEONE ELSE. It’s not that hard to just refrain from making yourself the center of attention when you aren’t the one at the epicenter of the pain.
Basic. Empathy. That’s all the inverse of manipulative behavior is. Politeness. Kindness. Respect for others. If someone says something that makes you feel uncomfortable — think about WHY that might be — instead of making THEM responsible for YOUR feelings and your fragility.
Oh and watch this:
Guess my dear friend has moved on from her blue eyed experiment to something a bit more direct. This is pretty damn clear. She’s been at this since Dr. Martin Luther King Jr was killed! Can we seriously still be this self centered and apathetic towards our fellow human beings based on SKIN COLOR?!?
White people — WE MUST CHANGE RIGHT NOW.
This shit is embarrassing.