Easier said than done.

I’m mad I can’t control it. Look at inside that madness — my mind tries to control it. Every single time. When I’m not upset, I can see clearly, logically and truthfully that I cannot control it — I have no reason to be ashamed in that context.

But in the context of the first few days after a massive flashback like the one detailed above, I question everything about myself. I want so much to not be “sick” at some point over the next few days I’ll try to convince myself that I’m not.

I wish I could just turn it off like a kitchen sink tap — but I can’t. I have tried. This part is the “waiting for the clearing” part. My vision is still blurry.

Thank you for the comment.

H.