H. Nemesis Nyx
Feb 24, 2018 · 9 min read

Let’s just take a minute, step back and think about what the fuck we are doing right now.

Numbers are weird and I don’t like thinking about them. I have heard that as of February 14th, we were up to 18 incidents of gunfire inside US schools for 2018. I have heard corrections that the number is more like 8. Regardless.

It is fucking February! Since when are we ok with one?

I am no mathematical genius, but for fuck’s sake, even the low number 8, means there was at least ONE INCIDENT OF GUNFIRE PER WEEK SINCE JANUARY 1st! How is that acceptable to anyone? Why even discuss this number as if 8 is somehow better than 18? If it is ‘only’ 8 to you, something is very wrong with your brain because you seem to not realize that ‘only 8’ represents very real trauma for people in numbers you cannot count high enough to comprehend. Can we please rest on this stupid part of the deflection train now?

Also, someone please fucking explain to me why we think even 1 incident in less than two months is normal!

Someone please help me understand why the children in my life have to practice responding to an active shooter situation just in case an armed person enters their place of learning and tries to fucking murder them.

We are doing all of this in the name of our ‘constitutional right.’ And yes, many men and women have died fighting for these rights and ideals. There’s no question, beliefs and rights are important. Some are worth dying to protect.

That said

— when did it become our kids’ responsibility to protect gun-owners’ rights with their lives —

What the fuck is wrong with us that we agree to putting our children on the front lines of an increasingly hostile war of attrition? We said we don’t want children younger than 18 drafted as soldiers. We promised them a childhood. At this point, we are damn liars! We are not meeting our commitment to our children because we have allowed kids as young as 6 years old to die in the name of gun rights.

Look at what we actively condone and the messages our kids are receiving from us. We are

— teaching children as young as six years old that —

  • they are responsible for keeping themselves and their friends safe at school.
  • we are so god damn incompetent that we cannot figure out how to eliminate this KNOWN threat to their emotional, physical and psychological safety in their school environments.
  • we love our guns more than we love the idea of seeing them grow up untouched by highly preventable tragedy.
  • the NRA has money and we also love money more than we love them.
  • their right to live through their childhood free of adult worry and concern, is less important to us than our access to military grade weaponry.
  • we would prefer to hang this problem on their shoulders instead of doing the most simple thing in the world — taking the AK47 and AK47-like weapons and high capacity magazines off the streets and out of the hands of civilians.
  • we are too stupid to see that most of our solutions to this problem are NOT focused on dealing with the root cause of the issue — GUNS and GUN CULTURE.
  • we don’t care that their schools need funding for their education, the arts, extracurricular activities and books, we prefer to spend their funding on treating the symptoms of our sick love and attachment to violence and guns instead.
  • when we are wrong or when we make a mistake, the way to deal with it is to avoid addressing it and seek out a scapegoat.
  • if they are in a low income area, we aren’t even going to consider them.
  • if they are black and get in trouble they are bad people; if they are white and get in trouble they are mentally ill.
  • mentally ill people are violent and will kill them.
  • we are not bothered by the insane lack of self awareness that results in ‘mentally ill’ white people killing them with impunity and living to see their day in court; while many sane black people who are not posing a threat to them might not live through a traffic stop because they reached for their wallet when told to do so or for jaywalking on a Saturday afternoon in August.
  • we will fight to the death for your right to be born, we will even elect the most vile, disgusting and ignorant piece of literal garbage from NYC to the highest office of the land because he tweeted,

‘abortion is terrible. just terrible. bad for lady parts. we must force ourselves and motherhood on our pussies’ ~Orange 45.

  • protecting your right to be born allows us to think of ourselves as good Christian people, but understand all support and concern for your rights ends the second you are born; we don’t care at all after you exit your mother’s womb — you are on your own — get a god damn job already.


The proposals to address our sickness are fucking ridiculous!

  • Hey! Let’s build our schools differently to keep bad guys with guns out.

Bad medicine = nasty side effects. Expecting our children to learn in a fortress like environment will remind them constantly that they are not safe from gun violence. This will no doubt result in hyper activity in some children and in others lethargy; poor cognitive functioning, memory loss, depression, anxiety, irritability, increased appetite, loss of appetite, inappropriate sexual conduct and increased risk of drug use.

  • Teaching kids how to not be noticed by a bad guy with a gun and holding drills to practice the corner-of-the-locked-room-body-pile technique.

Bad medicine = nasty side effects. Even if the kids never experience a mass shooting at their school, the exposure to ‘code red drills’ is damaging their growing minds — we are teaching our kids to be hyper vigilant — breaking their natural and protective internal alarm systems. Episodes of hyper vigilance can result in temporary loss of eye sight, stomach ache, Agoraphobia, heightened reactivity to harmless unexpected external stimuli and an inability to notice and respond to real threats effectively.

  • Teaching our kids how to decide if they should try to hide or run away depending on how close they believe the bad guy is to them while they are terrified and afraid for their lives.

Bad medicine = nasty side effects. Expecting kids to have abilities that most human beings do not have while their life is threatened results in a loss of trust between adults and children — want to know why your kids have smart mouths and attitudes? You’d have an attitude too if your parents, teachers and other adults who promised to keep you safe didn’t keep their promise. Self-reliance is not bad when people can access support and help when they need it; but it is maladaptive and isolating when it is done for survival before it is developmentally-appropriate.

  • Teaching our kids to knock on doors in the school’s surrounding neighborhood if they manage to escape.

Bad medicine = nasty side effects. Again, kids will stop trusting adults because they will learn too early that they are on their own. They are the heroes. No one is coming to help them when their lives are threatened, it’s all on them and if they don’t make it, that’s on them too. We suck so fucking much.

  • Expecting our kids to notice things we miss and tell on their classmates if one of them seems suicidal or homicidal.

Bad medicine = nasty side effects. Programming our children to be afraid of each other could result in increased aggression towards other students, withdraw, increased dropout rate, unexplained aches and pains, migraines, depression, suicidal ideation, inability to form healthy bonds and attachments resulting in co-dependency or isolation.

  • Asking our educators to carry guns!

Bad medicine = nasty side effects. Expecting our teachers to arm themselves and obtain training to shoot an intruder IS accepting defeat. This defeat will send a clear message to our teachers that they are not safe at work. Since they are adults and will not face truancy charges for changing careers, this will likely result in a significant loss of great educators who undoubtably will be replaced with gun-toting good ol’ boys ready to learn yer youngin ‘bout creation and ‘lady places.’

A Word about Mental Illness as a Root Cause

Our insistence that ‘mental illness’ is at the root of this issue is harming entire communities of people like me who have brain injuries from trauma.

Oh and guess what? Those kids who just went through this completely avoidable nightmare will not escape without brain injuries of their own. Make no mistake, you are ostracizing the victims of these shootings — before they even understand the nature of their injuries and the long term impact it will have on their lives — when you deflect from discussing the gun problem using mental illness as a shield. Most of the survivors will suffer from PTS and a large percentage will go on to suffer with PTSD — which is a serious mental illness.

Maybe we should consider how our addiction to guns and violence is making our children sick instead of punishing them by squeezing them until they cure themselves of the brain damage we have bestowed upon them?

Our root cause analysis is faulty and our solutions are fucking ludicrous!

Fix the background check database!?!?

Um, fuck you, guy who owns a flip phone and doesn’t understand computers. A database is only as good as the information human beings add to it. And since the adults are in charge, I have zero confidence we will get this right. Besides, how the fuck is your background check going to help when a kid that has no recorded criminal history buys a gun, bump stock, high caliber ammunition and matching high capacity magazines?

Mental illness is not a crime, fuckheads. The only time mental health or fitness would show up on someone’s criminal background check is if that person were adjudicated mentally ill in court!

I’m so glad we can find the funding to develop and maintain the technological infrastructure required to manage our addiction to guns. Personal health data sitting in a bank just waiting to be exfiltrated by a nasty actor who wants to eliminate people with brain health issues sounds like a fantastic fucking idea! I love the NRA spokeswoman at the town hall repeatedly using the word “crazy,” to describe people with brain health problems, too. I’m sorry I…

Can’t Understand Nonsensical Tangents!

(Psst, you’re a CUNT)

Stop using people with brain health problems as an excuse for doing nothing about a solvable problem. We are not your scapegoats. We are people. We are sorry it hurts your fragile white lady feelings to face the fact that white people harm others sometimes and your beloved guns enable them to perform these vicious acts.

Just so we’re all clear — I am disgusted with anyone who talks about mental illness as it relates to mass shootings without at least admitting that the weapon helps.

And not for nothing, but just as the signs don’t prevent the bad guy from bringing a gun into ‘gun-free zones,’ bad guys who have mental illnesses can obtain a gun illegally, just like other criminals do.

The problem is that we have far too many guns. The problem is our overstock of guns results in over-accessibility. The problem is that these particular guns are far too easy to operate effectively. The problem is the volume of bullets our weapons can fire without needing to be reloaded. The problem is the weapons that are being used in these shootings are being used AS INTENDED by the manufacturer — the weapons in these cases are made to kill humans. Since that is the purpose for these particular weapons and the manufacturers have been making them for so long, it should be no surprise that the weapons perform as expected.

Post armed volunteers at the school!

Because it would be so easy for kids to be comfortable around people roaming the hallways with rifles strapped to their chests. Because everyone knows a good guy with a gun stops a bad guy with a gun. Because in opposite world MORE of the very thing that enables these shooters is the answer not less. Human brains don’t learn well when under emotional stress and strain. We know this is true.

I better wrap this up…

Bottom line is that I am sick of the mentality that we should dump money into solutions that condone our self-serving, self-centered, pathetic addictions to unhealthy and unnecessary “things.” Adults, we really need to get our shit together. Our kids should not have to be the human shield for your enjoyment.

Say whatever you want. I cannot give any fucks about negative opinions as they relate to the truth I see and must stand for today. I care more about the children in my life and the kids who are healing from gunshot wounds and mourning the loss of their friends than I do your opinion.




H. Nemesis Nyx

Written by

One part cyborg; two parts glorious mess.

Welcome to a place where words matter. On Medium, smart voices and original ideas take center stage - with no ads in sight. Watch
Follow all the topics you care about, and we’ll deliver the best stories for you to your homepage and inbox. Explore
Get unlimited access to the best stories on Medium — and support writers while you’re at it. Just $5/month. Upgrade