I’ll go with that.
And I’ll argue with you too.
I’m not suggesting that the men in my example are required to ‘fill’ the ‘need’ or that the need isn’t ultimately the responsibility of the ‘needer.’
Quite the contrary.
What I’m saying is that in order for one — anyone — to be responsible for getting their needs met, they must be able to request sometimes from others. And if the requests, one as simple as “hey, I don’t wanna talk to anyone right now” go by ignored and someone out there even takes it upon themselves to ‘teach’ others how to ignore said request, the ‘needer’ receives a disturbing message. That message doesn’t just hurt the needer.
The message is “your needs aren’t important.”
The needer might start ignoring her needs or stop expressing them to those who would want to meet them. The lack of communication breaks down the love affair. The needer doesn’t get, because the needer can’t ask and therefore is not being responsible for the need — inside or out.
And what happens to the would-be filler?
That is my point. The disrespect seeps into us in ways that hurt our relationships with others. People need connection. It is a NEED, not a want. This has been scientifically proven. We also need to be accountable for our own needs within a relationship and we are often very childish inside about this fact.
The world around us affects us. Mr. Candy knew that too. Otherwise why bother being funny? He was a performer, you know…