Janet Jackson Woke Me
For me, as I age, I become more frantic about racism and finding a cure. I become more engrossed by it and more fixated on “figuring it out” so I can FIX IT.
I don’t want to leave my son to deal with this mess. I want to end the cycle with my own generation. The X’ers… the ones who loved Janet Jackson and argued with our parents that black people are just people like you and me.
I still get chills like I did the first time I heard “Rhythm Nation,” by Ms. Jackson, only now I get chills AND I cry. I cry because I feel like a failure.
God said to love my neighbors. God said we were made in the image of the divine. God did not caveat this with classification by color.
Therefore, neither do I.
But there’s no denying my assumptions sometimes. I don’t have time to write this out in fullness right now, but I was speaking to a technician in my home — he was black.
He made a comment to the effect of — “I really appreciate you treating me with so much respect by staying out of my way and letting me get my work done, most homes I go to…” he trailed off and I asked him to continue. He summed up by saying, “most of the time I’m not left in a room alone.”
I knew what he meant and so I opened up. I told him that I am horrified (this was right after Mike Brown was killed and OUR city was still engulfed in protest and TV cameras) about what was happening. He contributed to the discussion that a lot of people simply assume black people are criminals.
It was at this point I made a mistake, I started making excuses for criminal behavior. He stopped me in my tracks and stated — “that is not my story.” He told me a lot more about his parents, his childhood — we had so much in common. My son witnessed our discussion. It warmed my heart and taught me and my son a valuable lesson.
I shouldn’t speak for others in the first place.
In the second, it’s pretty dumb to be professing the truth that black people have individual stories while talking about “their struggle and experience” as if it is all the same, 1-dimensional story at the same time.
We talked for at least another hour after that — I was so grateful for the kindness he showed me AND for his trusting ME enough to speak his truth in my presence. What a gift. I will cherish this exchange for the rest of my life.
We shared a hug before he left. ❤️
