No one is comparing pain. We aren’t comparing experiences either. We are only saying to you that we understand you. We are trying to validate YOU. We are trying to help you see that you and your pain are not one in the same. Your pain has been inflicted. YOU were there to receive it. The details of the pain, the type and the causes are different. But the impact, the helplessness, the hopelessness and the ideation are the things we have in common. We only react to these things differently because we are individuals. The pain itself isn’t comparable.
It is just that we know — I know I was a wimpy little shrunken nothing when I started down my path to heal.
I am no better than you. I am no stronger than you.
I do not have some special secret sauce that you do not have. That’s all. Of course your pain is different. And you are different — you are a unique, wonderful human being. But there are things about us that are common. We want you to look at those things. We want you to see us too, for what we have in common with you.
Because then you will know you are not alone.
You aren’t. You really aren’t. We can’t compare our experiences, we can’t compare much of this stuff, but we can know that pain is pain is pain.
And we know how pain can trick us.
We see it working on you. I am talking to your pain now. I am telling it that it cannot have you. It isn’t you therefore it is beyond your control.
This is complicated, it isn’t easy, but it is doable. It isn’t
“if I can survive MY pain, you can survive YOURS,”
instead it is,
“I know I am not so strong, I know how much I have struggled, I found a way and so can you. I am no better than you. I am not inherently stronger. I got through it. You can do it too.”