Nope. I don’t think you did misread it. I just didn’t feel it was as severe as you felt it was is all.
I think it was middle of the road. Not perfect. Not exactly what I wanted to read, but much better then lots of dudes I’ve seen receiving comments where they are told to shut up.
Being told to shut up is not that nice. I get it. I absolutely do, but this discussion was something I was trying to keep above all that noise so I could get something done with it. I didn’t really need people taking a bat to his face because it doesn’t suit my goal.
I spent a fair amount of time and effort on my reply to him, because as a white person, it is my job to teach other white people how to behave in these circumstances. I shouldn’t be out front. I should be in the background, educating and holding space.
That’s what I was up to with this.
I have been told over and over again to deal with my people. And when comments start flying, I have my methods. You are absolutely right to tell me that you do not have to use my methods and are under no such obligation to buy into them either, but I also have a right to deploy them.
I felt you were harsh when he already backed down. That is my opinion. But, it is not my business or place to tell you what to do or how, and I’ve learned a valuable lesson here.
I’m getting angry. Not at anyone in particular, but just angry because I don’t think anything I say is going to fix this issue. I was offended by some of your comments. I felt they were over the top. Maybe that’s because of who I am? I don’t know.
I’m open to exploring that, but I need the discussion to be calm. If it isn’t calm, I won’t be able to hear you.
Again, I spent a lot of time crafting a message that I felt was appropriate, fair and rational when speaking with Nathan. I was very upset to see the accusations flying at him because he was learning.
We all are. And I want the community I surround myself with to approach each other with a willingness to forgive mistakes while we learn from each other.
I am all about acceptance. I realize that my message to you came across as if I was not accepting of you and that was wrong. Can you hear that I felt like my work was trampled upon a bit by your words to Nathan?
