Oh, I guess I should RESPECT that, then…
Funny how that works. Yet again, here you are asking for something you’re not giving others. And you CLEARLY missed my point.
*The following statements are MY personal thoughts and feelings, what YOU choose to do with this information is completely up to you.*
I wasn’t commenting on “the topic” of the “nasty rant post,” I was commenting on your behavior. You know the part where you interjected yourself and proceeded to tell people they should change their minds about two things:
- Engaging with a person with which they no longer wish to engage.
That behavior looks shitty and manipulative to me. The questions you asked all came with pre-loaded assumptions to my eyes. I didn’t see an effort to understand others. Instead I observed you saying that you didn’t understand, I saw you explaining your thoughts and proceeding to argue with people about theirs.
All the while pretending you were “ok” with other people having different “opinions.”
From my perspective, it doesn’t look like you are ok with that. Your words and actions do not align. If you were “ok” with differences of opinion, you wouldn’t be trying to tell others how they got theirs wrong.
This isn’t my first rodeo, Sarah. You can use Danna as a deflection all you want to, but I’m not talking about her behavior, I’m talking about YOURS. I don’t appreciate the preachy bullshit, ok?
And I’m not about to play “triangle” with you. Danna knows exactly why I don’t speak with her. I told her myself. I have my reasons for this, none of which I need to justify to YOU.
When you grasp boundaries and respect for others, you will find me a pleasant person. Until that time, understand that I will not tolerate the manipulative attempt to crash through my fence and distract me from my healing.
Created by a person I trusted.
That has very little to do with the post in question and everything to do with her devaluing others, rumormongering, inability to humble herself and her nasty habit of pretending like EVERYONE else is the problem.
My hope is you’ll see those words and not continue to make the same mistake. In fact, let me help you out with an alternative way you could have approached this that would have shown me that you mean it when you say you’re ok with differences of opinion and you truly wanted to understand others:
“Hi guys, this is all very strange to me, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or step on anyone’s toes. I just want to say that I agreed with the nasty shaming post made by so and so. I also understand that you all saw this differently. I am wondering if there were other things that caused this uproar, it seems like this reaction is out of proportion. I understand if you don’t feel like explaining. It would help me if you told me more about it because I would like to understand.”
Then actually LISTEN to what you’re being told, instead of coming back with an argument against what other people are saying to you. That’s a follow-up action that demonstrates that your words mean what they say.
You could have left out the assumptions that all of this comes down to one thing and that people are just as co-dependent as you seem to be (projection) that we’d all form the same opinion because we like to pick on people or we are some kind of elitist assholes.
That’s a story.
It’s magical thinking. Someone once told me that “the simplest explanation is often the correct one.”
That is the case here. Just because multiple people share the same opinion does not mean we all got together and DECIDED consciously to have it at the same time. The conspiracy bullshit is so offensive to me. Why?
Because I can think for myself. If I’m offended by something it’s because that something offends me, it isn’t because some scary dude from Canada commanded it.
You could be a nice person, but you stepped in it here with me, so I won’t be able to see that right now.
Your assumptions were hanging out in blatant full force. Your preconceived notions about the why for some of us are very unimaginative, lacking in a true willingness to have empathy and demonstrate to me a lack of boundaries all while expecting others to honor yours.
You can change that behavior if you want to change it. Or you can not change it. That’s up to you.
What’s up to me is whether or not I choose to point it out. What’s up to me is how I respond to it. What’s up to me is how many times I might escalate my communication to demonstrate that I understand MY rights and I’m not interested in watching other people’s be trampled on without saying, “hey, I’m not cool with that shit.”
Because I am not cool with that shit.