Oh Mr. Bacon! I loved you in Footloose!

How you changed the minds of all those townspeople who decried the dancing as devil worship!

Wait! YOU’RE NOT KEVIN BAcon, YOU’RE KEVIN BEAcon!

I am afraid you not being Kevin Bacon is going to put a serious strain on our relationship. So sad.

I can see now that you just don’t have it in you to change hearts and minds through the mystery of dance.

I guess you just don’t believe that other peoples’ emotional states are important.

Well I do. And I thought you could use some mocking in return for your drivel from before…

I’m also nice, so I thought I would include something funny too:

You could have been SO inspiring.