What happens when people use slogans and start conversations in a way that make people feel defensive, is that people focus on the side issues and not on the main problem.
When I counsel parents and their children; the language and terminology they use is very important.
Michelle Stone
115

PEOPLE HAVE ASKED NICELY FOR YEARS!

We are the block!

WE ARE. WHITE PEOPLE are BLOCKING PROGRESS with our FEELINGS.

I am not stupid. I understand what RM and others have been saying. The people RM is talking to are NOT STUPID either. THEY ALSO UNDERSTAND.

The problem is people are EXHAUSTED.

People have been asking politely for at LEAST 50 years. They are TIRED.

Why do people have to keep being nice after all this time?
How many times should I let someone punch me in the face before I go get my bat?

Its not as though it is impossible to understand how this happens… The ASK has been continuous over generations. The response to EACH ASK by EACH new WHITE Generation is almost always akin to this:

“Well, I didn’t do that! It wasn’t MY fault!”
“Why are you accusing me?”
“That hurts my feelings that you would call me a racist!”
“I love all people!”
“I don’t care what color you are!”
“It is called individual responsibility!”
“IF YOU WERE NICE ABOUT IT, MAYBE I WOULD LISTEN!”

BULLSHIT

Bullshit! Bullshit! Bullshit!

Being nice about it did NOTHING. Sitting with passive resistance only forced COVERT TACTICS to achieve the SAME RESULTS.

I CALL BULLSHIT!

WE ARE LYING TO OURSELVES IF WE BELIEVE THIS IS THE TRUTH. WE ARE LYING WHILE enjoying the PRIVILEGE the generation before US said the same damn thing about.

People are EXHAUSTED.

At some point, some of us are just going to have to STOP being so damn fragile and taking things so personally, LISTEN and ACT in a way that shows we get it. Sometimes, it is appropriate to put others before ourselves.

NOW IS ONE OF THOSE TIMES. People are dying. I don’t GAF about White people’s feelings. INCLUDING MY OWN.

I still like you very much, Michelle and I like RM too. But I am shaking I am so upset. This is invalidating. We are not in a one-to-one scenario.

How would you respond to a battered wife who is trying to talk to her husband during a therapy session? THAT’s the frame of reference we need to call upon. EQUALS. PARTNERS.

These are NOT children we are talking about. AND WE ARE NOT THEIR PARENTS!

But we are a family.

And sometimes we disagree.

Sometimes those who are hurt NEED TO BE HEARD BEFORE THEY CAN CALM DOWN and talk differently.

And we need to support them. Not criticize them. We don’t know what it is like. We don’t understand.

If we love love them, that means we will AT LEAST TRY. NO MATTER HOW THEY ARE SAYING IT, IF WE LOVE THEM WE WILL SHUT UP AND LISTEN.

This is NOT TRYING to hear them! This is DROWNING THEM OUT.

STOP! IT HURTS. PLEASE STOP.