Sadly, here is where we have some more in common. All abusers are the same. I’m so sorry you went through it. I’m so glad you’re not there anymore.
Not to get sucked down a rabbit hole or whatever, but unhealthy people with no boundaries trauma bond all the time — not just women. It’s the “one up” thing that people do when you tell them about a hardship.
What the author doesn’t get about people like you and me is that we were so busy making ourselves invisible we wouldn’t dare pull ourselves front and center like that to trash our abuser. We were far too afraid of him for that mess.
My biggest fear reading that piece was that someone who is in that ‘wondering is this abuse’ part of the road we travelled could read it and silently go back to dying alone while losing her mind.
So I had to speak up. No choice.
I miss you, Ré Harris. I hope you’re doing alright.