This is a good read that eerily reflects my own thoughts, and it seems this is because your…
Ben Tolkin

Thank you for sharing.

I feel this way sometimes too.

I am inspired by your honesty. And I think, at least for me, connection IS what life and reality are all about. Without the connection, everything IS a complete nothing, a facade — total farce.

The way we live now is not how we are intended to live. Collaboration, meaningful relationships, that connection — it DOES help us understand other people’s reality.

I don’t fully agree with the OP’s definition of feminism, before I saw the way some ‘feminists’ were treating Transgendered people on Twitter, I DID believe that 4CHANNERS and GG guys, should have been feminism’s natural allies. Now, I see that feminism has a major inclusivity problem.

Feminism will die if it does not fix this problem. Women and transgendered people — especially women and transgendered people of color have been ignored far too long by a moment that acts as if it is for everyone. Toxic masculinity has hurt everyone and there’s no reason why we should ignore those perspectives. We need to make room for connections.

It isn’t there yet; maybe we need something different. I don’t know.

I DO see based on the argument presented that feminism (as defined in this construct) DOES invalidate an entire group of men who are embracing their own disconnect. I feel so much empathy for that perspective. No pity. Empathy and compassion instead.

Because I want to connect with them. I want to collaborate and grow with them. I find many of these guys to be highly intelligent, deliriously funny and entertaining. I think there’s a ton of raw creativity there being used to spread sadness from inside out.

They say they don’t care, but the moment they feel a real connection, they DO care very much. I don’t think they are all as deeply committed to their disconnection as they portray themselves to be, just like they don’t all live in their mother’s basements.

I feel they are being used and they expect this — their bet never gets placed and they are sort of fine with that…

But, what, in your opinion, could a woman do to help them take on a more helpful perspective? What could any of us do to bring them closer to where you are now?

In the past, I have asked these questions and gotten some ugly answers about how women are terrible, etc. I’m not terrible. I’m nice. I just want to love and accept other people and I want to be loved and accepted back.

Anyway, I appreciate your words, they are incredibly validating for me. They also give me hope. I have a young boy. I want him to be happy, connected to others and to enjoy the world (IRL). Knowing that he may dance the line similar to the way you do when he grows up… just, thank you, from the bottom of my heart.


-Cyborg 🌺