This is a wonderfully balanced piece of writing, Jewels.
I’m trying to decide what I can even contribute here. I think when I read your words about “becoming visible” and “not knowing why” and “expected to take it as a compliment” and “can talk openly with people without having to worry about sending the wrong impression,” I think I just felt fighty inside.
I think I am angry for us. I think the distraction and the impact of it all has never been so evident as it is when you say [paraphrasing, because LAZY]:
“No matter what side of the coin… I am reduced to one thing… appearance. I want to be seen for all that I am.”
I’m angry because you’re right about this imposition on women. I’m angry because the whole time I kept thinking about Charlotte Franklin and what she had said in response to Alexainie about always feeling invisible. I’m angry because even if we are introverted, we are not as women taught how to soothe ourselves.
How to SEE ourselves.
And we get so lost in all this commotion. Then we look back and we feel so much grief and loss.
I just hope we are doing better by our girls than our moms and dads did by us. But I honestly don’t know.
When I think about what makes a woman famous these days…sold as the “ultimate” of visibility… in so many cases its appearance.
I’m fucking sick of it.
I see you, Jewels. And, Alexianie and Charlotte, I see you too. I want you all to know I see all of you — even though I can’t really truly physically see you, I do.
I want to be seen. Really seen too.