This isn’t because of you.
I hated reading this post.
I have felt like there was something inherently wrong with me for my entire life. A LOT of that is because of downright neglect when I needed help. A feeling of constant aloneness and invisibility in the world — or more like only visible when I can be abused, highly visible when the abusive environment is just the right temperature.
I want to hug you. I am sure you know that this is that illness talking and not the truth.
But hand to God somedays I wonder why I’m so broken that I don’t deserve to be loved, appreciated or even just left alone — have my boundaries respected.
Wait… what boundaries? I’m allowed to have those? That only took 32 years to figure out — thanks for the tools family of origin… real freaking helpful.
I hate that you know this feeling. Makes me sick to my stomach.
I just wish I could hug you.