When I read stories like this I feel very foggy in the head.

Foggy as in my vision becomes very blurry. I think my brain really struggles to resolve my cognitive dissonance. But I know you are telling your story. I know you are speaking the truth. I do not question your words, or your experience.

I cannot fully grasp it. I cannot fully understand. I am sorry and I am trying.

You strike me as an immensely gentle yet powerful soul. How do you do THAT?

In any case, your words are felt. Your story, while not fully absorbed, is being processed. The re-org that is ongoing in my mind will not change the fact, that although you do not need my validation, I am empathizing with you.

I wish it wasn’t so. I am sorry you went through that — it wasn’t your fault and you did not deserve it. There is no justification for the treatment you received.

I also think if I were you, I’d have very similar feelings. I want to know what I can do. Where have I gotten this wrong? How can I support you?

The words I offer could be quite meaningless. I know it depends on the individual receiving them. I am often afraid to respond. I know what to say to those close to me, because I know them. But it’s difficult to know the right words to write to those who are ‘strangers.’

I want to say I’m sorry. I want to say that sounds awful and it isn’t fair. That is how I genuinely feel.

But is it helpful for you to know some (mostly) white girl in MO feels this way about your story?

Or am I just being noisy and getting in the way?

I am sorry for the pain you have experienced and for the constant reminders of that situation, that most assuredly must have been highly traumatic. I know it can’t be easy to watch.

I know it isn’t easy for me and I know it isn’t the same. May God bless you and keep you and yours.

Sincerely,

H.