Yes, my dear it does make sense. I am very sad too that he is going through it. I’m sad that so many of my loved ones keep having that pain reactivated and those who could make it right are flatly refusing to do so.
Empathy. Is. Huge. For me. I know what it means for you too. And I know you understand to some degree what trauma does to our brains. What I am arguing here is that the “refusal to have empathy” is in response to having empathy, because it is not something a person can really control — you either can or can’t — usually a person cannot choose not to if they are empathetic. We both know that the man who wrote that post is highly empathetic.
Anger. Came out when empathy kicked in and found itself swirling. The refusal is a push away from that which was already, uncontrollably present inside our friend.
Empaths can’t turn it off like a faucet. He’s responding to his empathy, angry because he knows it’s not fair. It is so unfair it isn’t even funny! Sherry I know you get this.
So think of how you beat your own self up when you feel something or do something you don’t want to do, or when you realize you are giving of yourself to someone who is taking advantage of you.
That’s what this is. So he doesn’t need guilt or more weight. He needs and fucking deserves love and support.
You get this. I know already you do.
-nem
