Letting go…

Mario Azzi | Unsplash

‘Life is all about letting go, but what hurts the most is not taking a moment to say goodbye.’

I was watching Life of Pi on TV yesterday and this quote by Irrfan Khan struck a mighty blow right at the back of my head and set me thinking. We’ve all had extremely strong friendships that went down the drain, a rocky relationship that failed, a happy family that shattered into fragments of despair, a business deal that wreaked havoc in friendship or simply a relationship that disappeared into oblivion just because we didn’t take the time to give the end it deserved.

No goodbyes.

Cutting the tight rope with a sharp knife — it is bound to snap-drop people at both ends!

One thing’s for sure. We are all humans, we make mistakes.

I had an extremely strong relationship with a best friend — a friend who was like a sister to me. We were always seen together — at school, at the movies, at parties, at friends’ birthdays, vacationing together — hell, we even joined the gym together! We wore the same t-shirts on Valentine’s Day just because we wanted to! We kept each other’s secrets and told each other our dreams and aspirations. We studied and revised together. We were each other’s rocks.

Soon, life changed. We stopped hanging out together. And whatever little time I spent with her I felt happy. Newer people joined our little bubble of happiness. And our life’s decisions and plans began tending towards what the newer people had to say or do, because come on, everybody needed to feel ‘comfortable’. The bubble grew bigger — there were fights and I felt sidelined. We discussed issues over WhatsApp messages and post-its in our room. Yes, we lived under the same roof but didn’t really get to meet each other. I was possessive — I still am, but I am still not sure if she understands what I felt for her at that point of time. Misunderstandings weaved newer stories and brought out other perspectives to her suddenly. I was hurt and disappointed. But I didn’t want to let go.

I agree, I made mistakes too.

But beyond a point, a bubble is a bubble and a bubble can burst. And so it did. I went my way and so did she. The rope cut into two, snap-dropping both of us mid-air.

No goodbyes —just memories polished with guilt, sorrow and unhappiness now rest with me.

Looking back, I realise that all that was needed from me, was to take a moment to bid farewell to that chapter of my life, ceremoniously. To just let go and move on.