Plunge or pavilion?
I want to take the deep plunge. But if I do, I might die. But what if I succeed instead? Will it be worth a try? Of course! But if I don’t even try, I’m going to be stuck on the pavilion. In a rut. I’d be safe, but I would have never tried. I’m too scared. This is not happening. OK, calm down.
I was scared beyond imagination, but I didn’t want to stay on the pavilion anymore either. I decided to get out and first peer down the valley. It was a cold valley cloaked in white alright. I didn’t know what was beneath the white veil and I shuddered to even think of it. I shut my eyes for a moment. When I opened them, I had already decided to take the plunge. The deep, dark, deadly plunge.
That’s exactly how my writing began.
I was so scared to try initially. A lot of ‘what ifs’ shrouded my ability to think logically and do what I’ve always wanted to do. What if I were judged? What if my language wasn’t up to the mark, what if my writings were dismissed by the internet’s masses and what if, people looked at me with condescension, ostracizing me as a wannabe? The internet was full of them anyway and I didn’t want to be a wannabe… Ah, the irony!
I took up the challenge of writing for 100 days. I battled severe Writer’s Block, went for days thinking about one story idea or just sat in front of the screen to rant, created stories out-of-the-blue, began writing one thing and ended up with something else altogether. More than anything, I was guilty for the days I missed. I stumbled across stories and words and was amazed at my ability to churn ideas. Getting past all this was a trouble — but I managed 51 stories. That’s right, 51 darned original stories.
For someone who has always been incapable of sticking to plans, 50 was a landmark and although I had reserved this ode to myself (oops!) for my 100th story, I felt the half-century deserved it as much! (drumrooooooooll)
I garnered readers in the form of friends, family, acquaintances and many others whose everyday inputs and comments — in and out of Medium pushed me to write more each day — even on the worst of days. Thank you, guys.
When I started, I thought I’d deep-dive and splash-fall headfirst into this sea of nothingness and drown — what’s worse? I thought I’d die.
But guess what? I didn’t.
Taking the plunge was all that mattered and it always will, for all of us.
