Lymbo Session #2

Where do I start when it comes to living out the life I dreamed as a kid?

I’m 24 years old and I feel like I have accomplished nothing in my life.

Don’t worry, I know that’s a lie that my mind sometimes wants to hang around on. So do not fear because it is just a feeling that I currently have in my heart.

I’m currently on a flight from L.A. to Nashville and as I look to the people next to me and all around me I wonder what they have accomplished in their lives. I wonder if they are doing what they said they would do when they were kids. I wonder if they are living out their dreams or just playing it safe because they are afraid to fail.

I wonder those very things about myself. I wonder if I’m too afraid to live the life that I want to live. I wonder if I’m living a comfortable life or am I living uncomfortably. A comfortable life is a life that has been lived in a bubble, a safe bubble but a bubble nonetheless. Living uncomfortably is pushing yourself beyond your limits. Stepping outside of your comfort zone, outside the safe bubble and letting go of the fear of failure. But how do I know which one I’m living?

How do I know how to be honest with myself if I’ve been lying, not only to everyone around me but to myself.

Where do I start? I want to live a life that I’m proud of but more importantly that my parents are proud of, that my future wife and kids and my grandkids are proud of. I want to live an enjoyable life but at what point does enjoyable compromise with successful or a legacy worth leaving?

I know I’m not alone in these thoughts or maybe I am and I’m lying to myself once again to ease the pain of loneliness. The first step of not being alone or at least not wanting to be alone would be to open up and to share. To open up and to share I have to be vulnerable so here it goes, me being vulnerable.

I want to wake up everyday and enjoy the work that I do, knowing that in someway it is impacting the world somehow. I want to love all people of all color and culture around me to the best of my ability. I want to make my parents proud. I want to be the best friend that everyone has ever wanted, maybe like one out of your favorite movies that you watch solely based on that character. I want to fall in love with an incredible woman and give her every piece of me to her and have beautiful kids that will change the world.

The only way that I know how to do all of these things is to take each day exactly as it is handed to me. To take each moment for what it is and to understand that the things I do in my life doesn’t just change the trajectory of my future but everyone I come into contact with. So I suppose I will start with allowing this man next to me on this flight from L.A. to Nashville to fall asleep on my shoulder.

You’re welcome, sir.

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