Giving Myself Permission to Walk Away

Should I stay or should I go?

Darling, you gotta let me know… what are telltale signs that I should go?

Not to bring The Clash into this. It just happened that I was contemplating this quandary while watching Stranger Things on Netflix last week. The image of Will Byers singing that song in the Upside Down immediately comes to mind for me.

Be it a relationship, seemingly good job offers, or a passion project with the people you love—a gut feeling signifies to you that something isn’t right. That you need to walk away.

As for the consequences of staying, the lyrics spell it clear:

If I go there will be trouble
And if I stay it will be double

So with that, let’s confront some realities:

If you’re staying in a relationship because you don’t want to be alone…
You’re already alone.

If you’re saying yes to a job because you think you won’t get a better offer…
Settling will never get you that better offer.

If you’re afraid of leaving a passion project gone sour because of FOMO…
Well, you’re missing out on the passion because it’s been replaced by fear.

Whatever the situation, it’s ok, you can walk away.

Some situations are not worth salvaging. But whenever I fear that I’m making a bad decision, I’m reminded from experience that there’s no such thing as a bad decision. The “bad decisions” I’ve dealt with in the past have molded into good ones. And leaving is not final, you always have the chance to go back if it was truly meant to be. But to each, their own discretion.

I could rationalize to oblivion, but this is ultimately an emotional decision. Besides, most of people’s decisions are emotional, whether they concede it or not. This is 2016, emotional is not pejorative (nor solely a female thing, if you wanna go there).

I don’t regret the things (very very big things) I’ve walked away from in the past. And, if given another chance, I’d do it all again.

For the better, I’ve had to walk away from the love of my life, my best friend, money, and two life-changing careers, to name a few.

But I’m a better woman for it. And I have a fortitude unlike any other.