I had a double mastectomy 10 days ago. Following in the footsteps of a breast cancer survivor I saw on YouTube, I decided to have a dance party in the operating room before surgery. I wanted to celebrate this moment, not mourn it.

The partial mastectomy, I had this past December didn’t get all of cancer and neither did the 15 rounds of chemo. So, I made peace with the idea that my boobs have to go because I’ve got a big life to live and three little kids who need their mama.

It’s 10 days post-surgery, I’ve got four drains, lots of pain and stayed in bed while the family went to the Easter Egg Hunt. I felt sorry for myself. I swore like a sailor. I got snappy. Then I thought of my friend I met in chemo. She’d welcome surgery. She was too sick for surgery to even be an option. I get to be here. This uncomfortableness, it’s temporary. I am going to be okay. Once I let go of what I think things “should” look like and accept where I am, I soften and shift. I come from a place of gratefulness with a happy heart.

Give me two weeks and I’ll be up doing a post-op celebration dance.