My kids think I’m on Vacation

It’s day 4 in room 5207 West Main at Community Hospital of Monterey. I’m fighting a post-surgery infection. My family came to visit and my son, Sawyer said, “Mom, this is a pretty sweet set-up. You can lie in bed and have unlimited media time and they bring you dinner on a tray.”

To an 11-year-old, I’m sure it looks like a “pretty sweet set-up.” However, let’s be clear —it’s loud, there’s constant beeping, endless blood draws, failed IV starts with the bruises to prove it and a few questionable nursing aides that tore the hair off my arms removing bandages. If you do get stuck in the hospital for a week here’s what you need to know:

5 things to make your hospital set-up even sweeter

  1. Make friends with the Charge Nurse she will hook you up with multiple pairs of hospital issued grip socks. Unless you want to take home C-Diff or a Staph infection, you will need one pair to wear in bed and a second pair for walking to and from the bathroom.
  2. Sneak out of your room and find chocolate. Today is the first break I’ve had detached from my IV. I took a stroll in my robe and “walk around socks” to the Cafe and got chocolate frozen yogurt. I asked for permission later.
  3. Order off the Menu. This is the time to pull the special diet restrictions card and stick with meals you know mixed green salads, turkey sandwiches, oatmeal, fresh cut fruit and bagels and cream cheese.
  4. Ask for Ear Plugs. No explanation necessary.
  5. Bing on Netflix Documentaries. What I love about these Millennials is they’re fearless about what they film and marry life with art to tell really compelling and interesting stories. You for sure have to watch: Meet the Patels, Living on One Dollar and Twinsters.