“Every couple I know said they fought after going to the grocery store last week. That’s when I picked a fight with my boyfriend. People don’t realize they’re feeling fear, they push it all to anger,” Jessica Hendel, an LA-based screenwriter and my step-daughter, told me. …


Emotions are a part of life. But we know nothing about these forces that have the power to raise us up and crush us down. Learning a few things helps us grow to be our most authentic selves.

1. You’re not weak for having them, your brain is working correctly…


Jennifer, a 26-year-old former model, appeared in my office one summer day saying she was thinking of having Botox injections. My first emotional response was surprise. “Why in the world would this beautiful young woman want a cosmetic procedure?”

My second emotional response was curiosity. I asked her if we…


Mark Groves from Create the Love and the Mark Groves Podcast writes, “Every single human has surely suffered with feeling invalidated for their emotions. Author of ’It’s Not Always Depression’ and psychotherapist, Hilary Jacobs Hendel joined us to explore her ground-breaking work on emotions. Many of us have never really…


I’m not sure why host, mental health advocate, and comedian Paul Gilmartin was interested in my troubled relationship with my dad, but he was.

Paul asked thought-provoking questions about emotions and mental health. And we had a great time together recording this episode at his home studio in Los Angeles.

Here’s the episode of Mental Illness Happy Hour on Discovering Our Core Emotions. Enjoy!


Most of us are taught that depression is a flaw in brain chemistry. But another important and hopeful way to understand depression is through understanding our emotions. Life experiences, especially adverse ones, ignite many emotions in the brain. Research has shown that burying these emotions is one of the things…


Life is stressful. That’s a fact. To grow and learn we must try new things. Struggling, prevailing, and tolerating failures along the way builds confidence and the deep feeling in a child that “I can do it.” …


Recently I was interviewed by Eric Zimmer, host of the award-winning podcast The One You Feed. I think it is one of the best interviews on emotions I have done (she said humbly) so I am sharing it. Emotion education has so many benefits and we get none of this…


No matter what political inclinations you have, the recent events involving sexual assault, alcoholism, and fear of being wrongly accused, are triggers that bring up difficult emotions. As an emotion-centered trauma psychotherapist and citizen, I am keenly aware of the distress that people who follow the news are feeling this…


Illustration by Catherine Lepage

I am alive and therefore I struggle.

And I am an emotion-centered trauma psychotherapist who helps others understand and work with emotions to overcome past traumas and blocks to vital and more connected living. Working directly with emotions is the best way to remove obstacles to wellbeing and paves the…

Hilary Jacobs Hendel

Psychotherapist & author of “It’s Not Always Depression.” On sale now! Learn about the Change Triangle and feel better.

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