The Benefits of Breaking Out of Polarized Patterns of Thinking
Fallacy #1: Two Sides to Every Argument
I recall an ‘aha’ moment in my early twenties while traveling in Nepal, I was staying at the Kopan Monastery in Kathmandu for a portion of Geshe examinations. The Geshe is the highest degree in Tibetan Buddhism and a portion of the examinations include debating and defending a thesis.
Visitors that were staying at the monastery were invited to observe the debates. Up to this point, my experience with academia and debates had been influenced by western schools of thought: there are two sides to an argument, the purpose of a debate is to provide evidence and support for one of these sides and there is a clear winner and loser.
Fallacy #2: Absolute Truth Exists
Unveiling The Truth Through Collaboration
The debates were fascinating and even though I was unable to follow much of the discourse, I noted a vast difference in the format, tone and style of debate compared to those I had participated in in my western-influenced schooling. I debriefed with Sunny Lama, who explained to me that the purpose of these Geshe debates were to let the ‘truth’ be unveiled through the unfolding discourse. He relayed that there were not ‘two sides to an argument’, and used the tea cup he was holding to explain the concept. Holding up the cup, he noted that it had many ‘sides’ and appeared differently from all angles. If people with different perspectives of the tea cup communicated their respective ‘truths’, and those with different viewpoints were open to receiving and integrating these perspectives, a collaborative effort could be made to find a collective ‘truth’, which would be closer to the ‘absolute truth’ (a fallacy in buddhism) than any one individual perspective. In that moment, Sunny Lama and his tea cup deconstructed 20 years of programming.
Duality is a Rigid Mindset
Western ideology lends itself to bifurcation, dualisms and polarization, whether it manifests in political parties, gender categories or relationship statuses.
Bifurcation builds ‘othering’ into our society, marginalizing those who fit into the category of ‘other’, choose alternative or middle paths or exist in grey areas.
Black and white thinking is considered a cognitive distortion ( a flawed way of thinking) in modern psychology. So why the heck is it so built into our society?
The Benefits of Breaking Out of Polarized Patterns of Thinking
1. Peace.
Imagine not feeling offended or moved to correct someone any time an opinion is expressed that doesn’t align with your own? What if you were able to take in information without having an immediate aversive or positive response? Breaking out of divisive thinking can bring peace to you, your relationships and heck, the world!
2. Connection.
Black and white thinking leads to ‘othering’ those with differing worldviews, creating a barrier to connection. Being right all the time comes with a price, and that price is isolation. Cultivating openness to differing perspectives opens the door for learning, growth, and allowing ourselves to experience connection in our shared humanity.
3. Growth.
Unlearning is integral to growth! Allowing yourself to be vulnerable (and gasp…wrong), process new information, and let your perspective evolve is sexy as hell!
I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t know what your values are, have opinions, or disagree with people. Have at’er! But if you find yourself stuck in patterns of black and white thinking, it could be time to flex that mindfulness muscle and see how it feels to experience some shades of grey, or even purple!
Lots of love!
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