Child-Free

hillaryrobyn
Aug 25, 2017 · 3 min read
Source

My husband and I are pushing 30 and are currently “child-free”, which is just, like, the worst, right? I mean, how dare we not want to procreate?

I’ve had my share of people telling me how wrong/selfish/unChristian I am for not wanting kids. And I’m not even saying I never want them, just not right now. Everyone has an opinion that they are just dying to tell you when they hear that you don’t want kids.

I have been told that I should have kids and would be a great mom because I’m “a woman! It’s in your DNA!”

I have been asked when we will start our family and before I can get a response out the person interrupts me with, “Because *my husband* would be a great father!” You know, not because I would be a great mother or anything…

I’ve been told that not wanting kids because they’re too expensive isn’t a “good excuse” because kids “aren’t that expensive because you get $3,000 a year at tax time for them. This comment was made by someone who benefits from having government funded health insurance and free housing, by the way.

One of the most annoying things, though, is when I’m talking to a parent and I mention that I slept in that day until noon or later (a pretty common occurrence on my days off) and they respond with something along the lines of, “Oh my God, you’re so lucky! Just wait until you have kids, that won’t happen anymore!” Well, no shit.

Why is it acceptable to grill someone for not wanting to have kids when it isn’t acceptable to do the same to people who do want to have kids. I can only imagine the reaction I would get if I asked a pregnant woman or soon-to-be father, “What?! Why would you ever want a kid? Aren’t you afraid you’re going to totally screw up and create a monster? Or what if the kid dies before you?” People would lose their ever loving minds. But I don’t say that because I’m not an asshole.

On the other side of the coin are people who want nothing more than to be a parent but can’t due to medical reasons. I’ve seen first hand how devastating it can be for someone who wants a child but can’t have one. So when people ask, “Why don’t you have kids yet?” to someone who can’t have them, the response is totally different than when someone asks me the same question.

The next time you want to ask a couple if they plan to or why they haven’t had kids yet, stop and think for a second. You may just be annoying the shit out of the person, but you could also be opening a wound that they have finally stopped thinking about for moment. So, you know, just don’t ask. It’s like, so super easy.

)

Thoughts and opinions of an introverted homebody. I write about health and relationships mostly. ❤

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