10 Tricks To Keep Your Long Distance Relationship Alive And Healthy
Distance Doesn’t Have To Be A Bad Thing If You Do It Right
Long-distance relationships are possible. Many people go into relationships understanding that they will not live in the same city or state as their partner and that is ok. Life brings us to different places for different reasons and we need to learn to cope with the situation at hand and roll with the punches. Regardless of the many and varied reasons you may have to be a part of a long-distance relationship, you have found yourself in one and struggling to make things work. Fear not, the greatest thing you can do to keep a long distance relationship alive and healthy is to take action. Don’t take your relationship for granted and treat it as something optional. To have a healthy relationship long-distance or not you must take action. These ten words will help you succeed greatly no matter how far the space between you and your lover are.
“Being separated from your love is difficult for any amount of time. Trust issues often develop, or the distance becomes unbearable, but there is a way to make your love last no matter how many miles are between you.” — Stacie Simpson, blogger
Take it back to elementary school grammar, a successful relationship is held together by acting on the needs of your partner. A verb, a verb is something that you do. You must: create, communicate, plan, trust, say, play, surprise, talk, laugh, and invest in your long-distance relationship to make it last and gain the benefits you desire.
- Create Relationship Goals Together
Every couple should understand the benefits of creating relationship goals. It may seem a bit silly now but you will thank me in two years when you are married and settled down with the love of your life. A relationship goal can be as simple as making sure that you go on dates once a week to making sure that you are on track to spend the rest of your lives together and get married someday. For example: “I want to get married to you. Do you feel the same way?” This is a frank discussion that you need to have because you cannot spend all your time with someone committing to them if they plan to leave in three years after they are done with you. If you can your partner are on the same page as far as what you want out of the relationship you are in then your long-distance will not only succeed but it will flourish.
2. Communicate Your Needs
It is imperative to tell your partner your needs. Whether it is your needs in the bedroom, your needs as an individual or what have you, they need to know to be the best partner that they can be so they can give you everything you need and vice versa. It benefits you both in understanding what one another wants and needs both sexually and emotionally because your time together is all the more precious in a long-distance relationship and the less time you have in person the more that time becomes sacred. If you spend your time apart chatting about what you need and want in your relationship then when you are actually with one another there is no time wasted because you have already communicated with your partner what you need.
“10% of all marriages in the states started out as a long distance relationship.”
- Pew Research Center
3. Plan With An Online Calendar
Nearly everyone has an online calendar, take advantage of the simplicity that a joined calendar will bring to your relationship. You can plan when your next visit will be, who will go where, and so forth. As well as planning where you will be at all times so that you can schedule when to video chat or call one another. If you are at work from 8–6 then your partner will know you can only chat with text or a quick email. This way you can maximize your communication throughout the day and keep in touch without having miscommunication or misunderstanding when one of you is busy. It is a black and white explanation of your day and your partner’s day for both of you to view to maximize communication and understanding.
4. Trust One Another
This is a BIG one. Trust is so very important regardless if you are in a long-distance relationship or not. You must have trust in your partner because you are not able to monitor his or her coming or goings because you do not live with your partner. You just need to trust them when they say they are at work or out for drinks with a friend. Regardless of what they tell you, you need to trust that they are not up to no good. Building trust takes time and it will not happen overnight. A good exercise you can do to grow trust with one another is to just be honest about your life outside of your relationship. Make your partner part of it, shoot them a video chat midday and show them the friend your had lunch with or pop up a quick live stream at work for fun so they can see you at your job. Any little thing you can do to “prove” you are doing what you say you are will build trust and over time this will not need to happen and your partner will just know and believe that you are in fact doing what you say you are doing. That is trust and that is important.
5. Say “Goodnight” and “Good Morning” Everyday
This may be something you already do everyday without even thinking. Some couples however may not be doing this and it is so very important to touch base with your partner each morning and each evening. Couples that live together have the benefit of seeing one another everyday at the start and at the end. Long-distance couples need to put in the extra effort to call and communicate to their partner to say “goodnight” or “good morning.” You want one another to know that your partner is the first thing on your mind in the morning and the last thing on your mind at night.
“14 million couples define themselves as having a long distance relationship.”
-Pew Research Center
6. Play Games Online Together
What a fun way to spend time together! Open up your video chat and find an online gaming forum that allows multiplayer's. You can play checkers, battleship, backgammon, etc. Normally couples that live together can play a game across the dinner table and have a nice fun evening in. For long-distance couples they need to use the internet and all it’s great resources to play games. This is something fun that will give you a chance to touch base with one another and do something simple to just enjoy being present with one another. There are also games you can play together that are team building like a squad game or team centered game.
7. Surprise One Another
Everyone loves a thoughtful surprise every once in awhile. Spontaneity is a very healthy aspect to all relationships. Not all surprises have to be a surprise visit to see your partner across country. You can send them a love letter via snail mail, you can send flowers or chocolates. Anything that sends them a nice little, “I’m thinking of you and I love you.” vibe.
8. Talk Over Video Chat Frequently
Video chat is one of the best things to happen to long distance relationships since the telephone itself. You have the ability to talk to your partner, for free, everyday, face-to-face. How cool is that? Take advantage of this luxury and you will better your relationship 100%. You can pop open Skype and make dinner together. Each of you cooking the same thing and then enjoying the meal with one another whilst you are 500 miles apart. Take advantage of modern technology so that you can get the most out of you relationship.
9. Laugh Together
Nothing is more life giving than a good belly laugh with someone that you love. Always find the joy in a situation and remember to laugh with your partner. Laughter is so freeing and just fills your soul up with all the good stuff you need to get through the day. Laughing with your partner is important and if you keep it going you will be laughing together for many years to come.
“Whatever you do, make sure you laugh together. Try out this Kiss Phone. Just reading about it you might get you the laughs you need.” — Stacie Simpson, blogger
10. Invest In Other Friendships As Well
Don’t forget to have a life. Yes, your partner should be a major part of your life but they should not BE your life. Make yourself busy with hobbies and friends outside of your relationship, not to ignore your partner but just to keep your own identity. You becoming the best person you can outside your relationship will carry some good into your relationship and bring you closer. You cannot give love to someone properly if you do not love yourself first.