Reciprocity In Relationships
Scratch My Back And I’ll Scratch Yours
Have you ever felt guilty after your boyfriend made you dinner? He did the grocery shopping, researched the recipes, and cooked it all himself just to serve and please you. You relish in the sweetness of the romantic gesture but the next day you wake up, “oh sh*t, what do I have to do now so he feels just as loved and then I can level the playing field.” You should not feel like that at all. You should be able to each do nice things for each other without feeling guilty or like you owe them something.
When your boyfriend brings you a bouquet of flowers he should not expect you to do something in return. It is just a selfless gesture. He loves you and no one should have to feel like they owe someone something. You do something for me and I feel obliged to repay you in favors or expensive things. Love should be simple. Just be kind to one another and take care of each other. There is not much to it.
Reciprocity in a relationship is not healthy
It makes the relationship a job and not a relationship anymore. An equal partnership consists of two consenting adults coexisting with varied but equal tasks within said relationship. For example, a man stays home to cook and clean as the women goes off to work. Both are doing their part for the relationship for it to succeed however, the jobs they both do are completely different and cannot be compared to add up to be “fair” or not.
Yes, you should be fair and not take, take, take, from your partner. But no, you should not feel an aching sense of competition to please and compete with one another to see who loves one another more. Just be good to each other and it will all fall into place properly.