Sex: Too much or not enough

Hook-up Culture… Phenomenal or Phenomenon?

Casual sex has been around for years, the general sexual liberation of women did not begin however until the roaring 20s. Why now, eighty some odd years later, is casual sex being labeled with a fancy name and studied under the metaphorical microscope of society? What do we have now that people did not have twenty years ago…the internet. Online dating and social media has enabled hook-up culture to become its very own subculture. Especially with individuals in their early twenties.

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College itself is a subculture of sex-crazed teens that are finally away from the watchful eye of his or her parents. This alone causes them to experiment and rebel, with drugs, alcohol, and sex…lots of sex. Not only is sex seen as a form of recreation with this demographic, it is easily accessible with the help of online dating apps. Furthermore, the end result of sex that is uncommitted is found to have different pleasure levels than committed sex. It must be the idea, same drug different high theory.

The allure of uncommitted, hit and quit, not knowing last name type of sex is there but it may not be for everyone.

According to the American Psychology Association, “80 percent of North American college students have had some sort of hook-up experience.” Tinder and the like create easy access to sex with people in and around you general area. All you have to do is swipe and have access to GPS. Most apps are free, like Hily. Online dating is a great tool to use for hook-ups or relationships both serious and casual.

All in all, hook-up culture has always been around, we just have more access and proof that it is happening. Social media has created a kiss and tell norm for hook-ups.

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Some girls may snapchat a face of disgust next to a stranger they bedded the night before with a plea to friends on how to sneak out. Others may turn to Instagram and use hashtag on a photo after a great meet-up thanking the online dating app that helped them scratch that itch they had. Sex is here, always has been, always will be. For now it is just a little more out in the open than we have been comfortable with over the years.

Another surge of Feminism has been created amongst millennial women, some are all for free love, and others remain celibate out of protest. It seems as though it is the roaring 20s all over again. Women’s rights have been thrown around and jumbled up. In fear of not having the power to decide what happens with their bodies, women have taken a stand and taken charge of their sex-life.

Casual hook-ups have become empowering.

Many Political leaders have mentioned that the “power over the pussy” remains in the hands of men. However, young women do not see it that way and are doing everything in their feminine power to prove them wrong.

Relationships Deprived of Sex

On the reverse side of things, some men and women are struggling with partners that are less than willing to accommodate their sexual needs. The internet is a wonderful support system for men and women alike that create a routine of everyday life and the spark has dwindled. Asking a friend for advice about sex can be embarrassing, no matter how close you are. Thankfully, we have message boards! Reddit is a common online forum that you can talk just about anything. /r/deadbedrooms is a safe place that many individuals talk about their experiences with a lack of intimacy in their bedrooms and how it has affected their marriages and relationships.

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The level of intimacy in couples can be made with more than just sex. But deep within us everyone craves the release that only physical sex can give us. Otherwise, we perpetually have an itch that we cannot scratch and it will soon affect our mental health. Unless we have committed ourselves to a higher power, we need physical intimacy. Can you imagine being in a committed relationship with someone that doesn’t get a boner just by the fact he is near you when you are naked? I would be mortified! How much would that hurt, “it’s not you it’s me.” Yea, right! How can you not take something like no sex drive in your partner personally? Obviously low libidos exist therefore people that do not have sex exist.

Not only can a dead bedroom be filled with loneliness and self loathing; it is also filled with increased anxiety. By not having the physical release of sex your mental space is being maxed out. You may become paranoid, distracted, and so much more. Sex is good for us, our body, mind, and spirit. A couple that has little to no sex in it can begin to develop wandering eyes. Are we just awesome roommates that kiss each other good-bye? Is this still considered a marriage if we do not sleep together anymore? Well, I guess the makeup of your relationship will come down to how you define it in the first place. Communication is the basis for all relationships be it in friendship, casual sex, or a marriage.

With that, when communication breaks down in a relationship then the bedroom will begin to edge toward an inevitable downfall.

If you are not talking anymore then there is no way you are sleeping together. At least in an intimate way.

And now you just have a hot mess going on under one roof, because you are both not communicating like you should AND you are sexually frustrated. Something has to give. This is the point where someone steps out and cheats, leaves, or suggests a change. Hopefully, neither I nor you will find ourselves in such a position but if you do, heed my warning and never lose the ability to communicate with your partner.

To answer my above question in the title, too much sex or not enough? I think that it is safe to say that the former is better than the ladder. Sex has more benefits that not. Although there is the occasional risk or heartbreak, sexually transmitted infections, or unwanted pregnancies those all can be avoided with using proper communication and of course…condoms.

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