Hello Heidi
Sierra Tango

They say that youth is wasted on the young.

Of course, when I was in my 20’s I didn’t want to waste a mere minute. I salivated for adventure and romance. I was determined to suck the marrow out of life.

God, I was in a rush for everything. Which meant there was no ‘slowly undressing of people’. I aimed to get everyone’s clothes off as quickly as possible. The term ‘Life Partner’ read like sci fi. In the ‘here and the now’ (which is now the ‘then and was’), I desired long haired thrill seekers who spoke in foreign tongues, raced high performance equipment, and had tattoos I could trace with forefinger. I didn’t seem to mind that we were headed in different directions in life.

Now on the upper end of my 30s, I am grateful for my experiences yet also wish I had taken the time to know someone like you. I wish someone had given me a cocktail of patience with a sidecar of knowledge that the best adventures are created with someone you knew the ins and outs of. Riding the switchbacks of success with someone dear is likely much more exhilarating then those dirt roads I used to race up on the back of someone’s (temporary) motorbike.

So what am I trying to say? Well I suppose it depends upon what YOU want. You have time. More and more women will start to notice you and your success will only increase. If I were to draw a diagram I would show that many of those thrill seeking men peak at 25 and then decrease their long term ’mate attraction’ quickly. The nerds and the intellects have a longer upward climb, but the height of their linear progression far exceeds any other type. Women will start to notice you with ongoing frequency. Especially as you get older and start to frequent different circles.

Success is one way to get women’s initial attention. It’s not fair nor is it right, but it’s true. Also not fair or right is that many men often only approach a woman just because they think she is beautiful. Attraction is a way to start a conversation, but neither party has to finish it if words run out.

So you have a choice. You can relish in the newfound attention and rush into as many things as you want without taking time to undress anyone. It’s thrilling and addicting. Attention feels great. Until it doesn’t.

Once you start to find the attention empty, and seek something with more meaning-yes take your time. Take time to get to know these women and determine if there is a real connection. Your success is just the window dressing to lure them in…see if they like what’s inside. And you, what’s inside them. Do you make each other laugh? Do you treat each other with kindness? Have the same creative vision for what you want to design in life? You are 26 and anything can happen including more failures and more successes. Choose someone that makes failure endurable and successes worth celebrating.

My father once told me that the secret to his loving 40 year marriage with my mother was simple. “We just like hanging out with each other doing nothing. And trust me, as you get older you have a lot of time together doing nothing.”