Are You Gonna Keep Waiting For Things To Change?
Most people make the mistake of thinking that one day their life will be complete.
I am sure you have heard of this optimistic line passed over from generation to generation.
This too shall pass.
But I believe it has done us more harm than good. Whoever came up with this ancient wisdom probably passed away waiting for it to pass.
You don’t wait for the storm to be over. You do what you have to do despite the storm. Because even when one storm ends, another one’s usually in line.
Have you ever found yourself thinking on these lines?
- If I could fulfill these roles and responsibilities right now, then one day I could relax and do what I really want.
- Once I have studied and analyzed everything about investing, starting a business, socializing with people, programming or losing weight, I can finally start doing it.
- One day my parent, spouse, child, boss or colleague will understand me and the friction will end.
- If I could make a ton of money at this time by working crazy hours, even if I don’t like my job, then one day I’ll have more time and money for travel, hobby, exercise, family or friends.
The more we keep hoping that things will be different one day, the more likely we are to go through crushing disappointment. It’s better to realize that it’s not going to end or reach closure in the way you want.
Things will always be this way. The question is, what would you do now that there’s nothing to wait for?
As long as you live, there’s always going to be some struggle or the other. It’s not going to stop, ever. So either start doing what you really want, or stop wanting what you cannot take steps to achieve.
Begin with small quantities, even if you have very little of time, money, support or whatever you have waiting for. If you have multiple ambitions, start with the easiest. Slowly and carefully, keep scaling up.
Start with spending at least 30 minutes a day whatever you want to work on. Then as your circumstances get better, keep increasing this daily duration. Keep the hustle going in parallel to whatever obligations you have. Don’t wait any longer.
You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.
Is it wise for a surfer to bash his fists trying to fight off a wave, hoping that he can stop the course of nature?
But we act like that surfer a lot in our daily lives. Instead of accepting what is, we wait and try for things to be different, easier or better.
Most of the time when we postpone something, it’s not for a genuine reason. The only reason is lack of will and discipline. Circumstances have never stopped someone who really wanted a desired outcome.
Every minute that you work on something you deeply feel about, it’s an investment into your emotional and mental well being, which will also impact other parts of your work and life.
You will spend rest of your day with more energy and productivity. You’ll charm your loved ones and fulfill your obligations to a greater extent. And you’ll sleep like a baby at night, satisfied that you’ve spent your day with creativity and courage. And that you’re one step closer to your goals.
The other reason it’s so important to start now is that some wishes are merely fantasies. When you’re waiting for something to happen to make you content and happy, you never know if that’s really worth it.
Once you start doing what you’ve really wanted to do for a long time, you may realize it’s not what you wanted all along. You may discover you can’t or don’t want to do it. And the sooner you make this discovery, the better, because you’ll save yourself from years of agony wanting something unworthy.
People won’t change
In addition to believing in the myth that one day a time will come when things will be different, you may also be living under the fallacy that one day the people in your life will change. I hate to break it to you, but that’s also highly unlikely.
If you’ve had a controlling father, or wife, or boss, there’s nothing you’d love more than waking up one day and seeing them changed, but the reality is that you’re kidding yourself. Let’s just say they’re never going to acknowledge what they have done or appreciate who you are.
The efforts you are carrying out and suffering you may be enduring to change someone may all be in vain. Someone who doesn’t like you anymore won’t magically start chasing you one day.
When people don’t acknowledge, accept or appreciate who you are, it’s not a signal for trying harder. It’s an indication to stop waiting.
Just assume that people are never going to change. You can only control your own thoughts and behavior, not theirs. You can influence people to some extent or for some time, but how they fundamentally are remains the same more or less.
For every relationship you have in your life and work, you need to ask yourself: If nothing changes, can I stay in this relationship/job/friendship?
Now decide what you want to do. Either accept or live with what you have, or get rid of them and never look back. If you can tolerate the hassle and learn to accept the behavior that troubles you, by all means work on it.
The next time you find yourself trying to ‘fix’ someone so they no longer act in a way that you find distasteful, and that you don’t approve of, practice love, patience and understanding. Find humor in the drama and enjoy it.
The sooner you accept people for who they are and understand that they’ll always be this way, you stop trying to fix them and free yourself to take an objective decision that’s good for both the parties.
Your judgments won’t be clouded by unhealthy emotions. You’ll know if you want to live with it, or stop putting up with the bad behavior.
If you can’t accept and learn to love someone for who they are or how they treat you, it’s time to let go. When you invest your energy on people who you think you could change, it’s usually one sided and you will be the one left doing all the effort.
If you were not able to change someone through love and acceptance, there’s no other way that’ll work. Your whining or guiltily staying in a relationship isn’t going to make things any better. You’re better to invest in someone who is willing to change, or who you don’t want to change.
Life, work and people are always going to be a struggle. They will surprise you with new challenges. The only thing you can do is live to the fullest despite them, because you can never live without them.
Those who have lived right have never waited for an imaginary future, or for things to get easy. Feel what you want to do for yourself and for others today and start doing. The more you wait, the more you waste.