Moving on in your life — a year after heart failure
It’s been six months since I first wrote my personal experience of getting back to a normal life after acute heart failure. A year has now past and here’s my progress along with 3 important things I have learned. This is my story of moving on from near death trauma.
Allowing my body and mind to accept what has happened to it, and know that it needs time to move on, has been the greatest positive impact. Actually allowing yourself to move forward is extremely hard mostly because you don’t know that you keep yourself in some kind of cave of feelings and thoughts with little energy to move yourself out of it. In the beginning I was forcing myself out of it but it didn’t help — i needed patience with myself
The problem is that most people are impatient. They are trying to force themselves to the better but they do it too quick instead of doing the small steps it takes.
The best resource you have is time, and you can’t force things quicker when it comes to traumas. Patience with my self and my body. Accepting that my chest still hurts sometimes and that anxiety and stress can appear was crucial, in order to make progress — if it happens today, I know I am not dying.
My body may want to alarm me with the same signals and flashbacks to the real danger but I can think beyond that now. So getting to the point of accepting that it is there and take calm precautions instead of panicking has made me much happier and productive again.
#2 changing job and improving myself personally
Sometimes moving on from something requires leaving other things in life behind.
If you encounter a problem, accept it, change it or leave it.
I really think one of the best things that has happened to me was changing jobs. I couldn’t work full time in my previous job due to emotional after effects of my heart failure. Changing an environment in your life may be the one major thing that can lift you in many other areas, both personally and professionally.
I started as digital manager in the company Bonava. This had a tremendous impact on my well-being. Focusing on the start of something new, which also have a promising future of self-development, felt like closing a chapter. Today, I am using my skills to the fullest and I get to improve myself every day.
I like how Gary Vaynerchuk always says things like “A screwdriver is a useful tool, but if you don’t actually use the screwdriver it sucks shit!”
As I think back, I have been quite a mess. It took me a lot of time to get back energy to keep my life in structure because I lost the ability to keep doing things.
Small things like cleaning, cooking, washing. All I could do mostly was lie on my couch and think (watching netflix)— I also spent a lot time being social since that made me happy and energized, but I realize now how I put all my energy in being social and talking to people, leaving me no energy to do meaningful stuff that kept my life in place.
I talked more than I was actually doing. I quess you have to go through a period like this, of course, if you are coping with many thoughts from a traumatic event that steals time. But it cannibalizes you. It leaves no space for keeping the everyday running.
Today, this is reversed. I am thinking more clearly and I am spending a lot of energy on doing. Even small things like making your bed is contributing. energy creates energy.
I do have a long way still to be able to fully let go of the memories from this, but I like the progress.
Why do I write this?
Because I think what I’ve been through is a part of me. Not something I should forget, but something I should remember as a fulfilling chapter in my life where I feel I sucessfully have picked myself up from an instant collaps. A story I could have used a year ago and a story someone maybe could use now.