Day After Day Leads to Today

Day after day passed by and I continued to wait. I sat, waiting for the moment when I would be utterly crushed by grief. I knew the day was coming. I had seen movies time and again depict that only after an emotional breakdown can one overcome and accept the death of a loved one.

In December of the eighth grade, I learned my mom had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Over the course of the next year she received several treatments. In the fall of my freshman year it seemed as though the cancer had dissipated. December came again, and we learned that the cancer had not only returned, but spread to her bones. On Christmas Eve, my parents sat my siblings and I down and told us there was nothing the doctors could do; my mom had one to three months to live. My mom proceeded to call each of my siblings and I up individually. She told me that as much as it hurt her to say she would not always be able to be there for me. She then mentioned the names of two very close family friends, reminding me that no matter what, they would be there for me when she no longer could be. Five days later she died.

As time passed I realized this day I feared was not worth waiting for. I have always accepted my mom’s death, but it was time I learned from it. I will continue to miss my mom everyday, and I’ve come to terms with this. She taught me the importance of family and friends and the community they provide. In a strong community when one person leaves, others help provide in the transition.

Over the fall and into the winter months of my sophomore year, I thought about everything my mom had done. I had seen on many occasions how my mom served others. She spent countless hours organizing events at my elementary school because she loved my siblings and I, and wanted the best education for us. She also led a women’s bible study so they could know God’s love like she did. During this time I also thought about what my mom had done solely for me. I realized one of the best things she did was encourage me to stay in band. I remembered her saying just wait till high school; you will be amazed at the friends and memories you will make. I did as my mom said and I have never regretted a single moment. My band is an extension of my family at school. I know and feel the importance of being involved in a community where everyone works to support each other.

The following spring I auditioned and became the drum major of the marching band because my mom modeled the importance of serving those you love. I work to support and unify my peers through our shared love of music. My goal is to continue to build a family that supports each other, that will not fall apart when senior members graduate, but strives on welcoming new members.

Everyday I make choices that define who I am and who I will be. I have accepted that my mom cannot be here physically as I continue to determine who I am, but she will always be the foundation of my story. Now, in everything I do, my aim is to be involved wholeheartedly; whether by supporting in a leadership position or actively as another member of a group or team. I will invest not just my time, but most importantly my heart. I have learned from my mom’s life and death that great people and opportunities will not always be in my life and they must be cherished while they are.