Inbox
~February 19~
(ASouthernBelle has created a new profile on The Dating Site.)
Screen name: ASouthernBelle
I am: A Woman Seeking A Man
Age: 30 years old
Pictures: 3
Build: A few extra pounds
Statement:
Hi guys! I love cats and dogs, but especially dogs. I also love to read and I often go out to dinner and a movie with my friends. I’m pretty active and go jogging with my dog every night. I’ve started working out on an exercise bike I got recently too. My friends and I also have a monthly get together over zoom where we talk, drink wine or sparkling cider, and watch movies together, so I’m cool with staying in or going out. I believe there’s a place for adventure and a place for quiet time in my life.
If you want to know more about ASouthernBelle, click here and ask her!
~February 19~
WelcomeWagon writes:
Welcome to The Dating Site! Where you come to find your perfect date! Don’t forget to visit often for the best odds of getting that perfect man! Now get out there and snag your Prince Charming!
~February 20 — February 22~
YouOneNOnly writes:
Hey sweetness I think you sound cool. Write me back if you want to know more.
ASouthernBelle writes:
Um… You wrote me. Aren’t you supposed to ask more about me? Or tell me about you?
YouOneNOnly writes:
I’m you’re dream man. What more you need? So what you do on the first date?
ASouthernBelle writes:
What do I do on a first date, you mean? Usually, I prefer to start off slowly with coffee and conversation. Then we can take it from there.
YouOneNOnly writes:
Cute. No, do you kiss? Or do more? I like a girl to go down on me then I know if shes a keeper.
(YouOneNOnly is blocked.)
~March 3~
DreamMan169 writes:
Hey you have a few xtra pounds? sounds like ur fat. Dont worry Im here I’m ur dream man coz I like fatties. When you wanna meet?
ASouthernBelle writes:
Thanks but no thanks. I have too much self-respect. The only dreams you feature in are my nightmares. Try learning some grammar and spelling. Oh, and no one likes to be called a “fattie”. Let’s never meet.
(DreamMan169 is blocked. ASouthernBelle misses out on reading five ranting and barely legible private messages before DreamMan169’s account is deleted.)
~March 17 — March 19~
huntingman4u writes:
Hay gudlukin. i likes dawgs 2 me n bruiser likes to hunt evri wekend. u likes huntig?
ASouthernBelle writes:
Actually, no. I don’t really enjoy hunting. I prefer watching the wildlife, though I don’t see anything wrong with hunting when done responsibly by others. I do, however, love good grammar and spelling. I also dislike like being called “gudlukin.” Please don’t call me that.
huntingman4u writes:
u dunt no wat u missin swethart i m teh best u eva meat butt u blue it stoopid gudby
ASouthernBelle writes:
I find it hilarious that “best” was just about the only word you spelled correctly. And if I’m missing out on someone like that, I think I might be better off.
It’s spelled, “good bye.”
([H]untingman4u is blocked. ASouthernBelle is spared another insulting and illegible reply.)
~March 23 — March 25~
LuverBoy01 writes:
Hi. I lik shepards. what kinda dog you got?
ASouthernBelle writes:
I have a beautiful 5 year old black Labrador Retriever. She loves to play catch with me. Do you have a German Shepherd?
LuverBoy01 writes:
No i have a hound dog. he’s dum tho. And lazy.
(ASouthernBelle does not reply and the conversation dies. The lazy hound, however, finds a good home with a kind neighbor who is happy for a quiet companion.)
~April 9 — April 12~
BrainRUsZ writes:
Heya. What kinda books you like to read? Do you like science fiction or horror? What do you want in a man?
ASouthernBelle writes:
I’d like him to be my friend first and foremost. I’d also like him to be kind, intelligent, witty, and, above all, a gentleman. We would need to connect on an emotional and mental level before we did anything else. What do you want in a woman? It’s probably not much different.
I like reading science fiction sometimes, but I’m more into mystery novels and crime thrillers. I’m not a fan of horror at all. I take it you like science fiction and horror novels?
BrainsRUsZ writes:
Yeah I like scifi and horror and anything with zombies. I even read that Pride and Prejudice book with the zombies in it. I play the video games too. I like video games. Do you?
My kinda woman likes to have fun.
ASouthernBelle writes:
I like to play video games sometimes, but mostly card games or word games. I’m afraid I don’t know much about the zombie sub-genre, except that it was popular for a while. How did you like the zombie retelling of Pride and Prejudice?
(There is no immediate reply from BrainsRUsZ.)
~April 21 — April 25~
Teddy4U writes:
I liked your profile. I take walks around my neighborhood as well. Used to do it with my ex, but I think you hit on something with going with your dog. Quieter that way! ;)
What do you do for work? I’m a pilot for a small, private airline out of the local airport. I hope to fly for one of the big airlines one day!
ASouthernBelle writes:
It is quiet walking with my dog, sometimes too quiet. So we have one-sided conversations or I listen to my iPhone as we walk. She’s satisfied as long as I let her mark most of the trees we pass.
I’m a librarian at a local public library where the patrons keep things interesting. Where do you usually fly? How long have you been flying? I always wanted to learn to fly. Please tell me about it?
Teddy4U writes:
I guess you really like to read, huh? I’m not that into it myself, but my ex always loved to read. Her favorite author was some writer named Dan. I think his last name was a color?
I love flying! I especially love it when I get about a mile or two up and I’m above the clouds. I used to be a stunt pilot, but my ex hated that. Said it was too dangerous, but she knew I did it when she met me! And just practice stalls scared her, so I think she was paranoid. What do you think? Would you date a stunt pilot?
ASouthernBelle writes:
Um… Yeah, I guess so. I never thought about it. Was that why you broke up? You kinda sound like you’re still in love with her. Are you sure you’re ready for a new relationship?
(Teddy4U does not immediately reply.)
(The following messages were received between April 30 and August 19, and were not replied to.)
Rockinthesouth writes:
hey
LimitedTimeOnly writes:
i think your hot. lets date
PattonofLA writes:
do you date men in prison? I get out next year.. maybe
chivalryisnotdead writes:
Do you like older men? I’m 64.
Hottimeinthecity writes:
Plz say ull go out w me? I cant take nymo rejectian
hEro40 writes:
yo dreams cum tru! i need a date 2nite
collegeguy906 writes:
u wanna b a couger?? cuz i think u fine! i’m 18 n play football but coach say i’m too imatur jes bcuz of 1 time i got druk. how waz i to know that cop waz vistin his kid?! writ me bak 4 gr8 times
~September 5~
Teddy4U writes:
Sorry it’s been so long since I wrote. I got back together with my ex! We’re getting married next Sunday! It was nice talking to you, but she gets jealous, so we should end this now. Bye!
(ASouthernBelle seconds Teddy4U’s wishes and does not reply.)
~September 14~
BrainsRUsZ writes:
hey. You wanna meet? You gotta have sex sometime and I need some too.
(BrainsRUsZ is blocked with no reply.)
~November 29 — December 3~
HistoryKnight writes:
Hi. I’m not too sure how this works, but I liked your profile and thought you seemed nice. What kind of books do you like to read? I like to read historical novels, classic literature, poetry, and historical non-fiction. I’m a high school history teacher.
Do you like Italian food? It’s my favorite, but then again, I’m Italian. My mother came from Italy as a young girl and I grew up on her traditional cooking. So whenever I have good Italian food, it reminds me of Mom.
ASouthernBelle writes:
Aww… That’s sweet! Yes, I do like Italian food, though my favorites are probably Chinese and American. I’m pretty versatile, though. I’ll eat just about anything you put in front of me as long as it’s cooked and I didn’t see it alive first. Plants don’t count.
I like classic literature and historical novels as well, but my favorite genres are mystery and crime drama. Actually, I really love Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes series! They’re the best of all four in my opinion, though they wouldn’t have been historical when they were written.
HistoryKnight writes:
I’ve never read Sherlock Holmes, to be honest. But then, I’m not a big mystery fan. I’ll have to try one soon. Maybe I’ll get to like mysteries! Sadly, reading will have to wait for now. I’m in the middle of grading term papers. This might be a while… At this point, I’ll be happy if my students can just tell me who the first and second presidents were, to tell you the truth.
I like Chinese as well and who doesn’t like American food? Sometimes, all I want is a couple of hot dogs, my cat, and a good game of basketball to watch on tv. Do you like sports?
~December 3 — December 4~
(The second message in ASouthernBelle’s inbox.)
Hottimeinthecity writes:
y u no writ me? u thik u 2 gud 4 me?
ASouthernBelle writes:
I refuse to take men seriously that do not use good grammar and spelling.
Hottimeinthecity writes:
haghty bithc
(Hottimeinthecity is blocked.)
~December 4 — December 9~
ASouthernBelle writes to HistoryKnight:
You teach high school? Wow… You must have so much patience. I can get so annoyed with the kids that come into my library. Most are loud and don’t usually have much respect for the books or the others around them.
What area of history do you like best? I always liked the classic western world best, but I studied English Lit in college, which didn’t do much for me in the real world. Everybody else seems to have studied it too! So I went back and got a master’s in Library Science. I’m a happy librarian at a public library now.
I’m not that big into sports, but I’ll watch it with others as long as they don’t mind me asking a ton of questions! I was a klutz in school, so I never even bothered really learning the rules except for what I needed to know to survive gym.
Out of curiosity, do you get a lot of women writing you with terrible grammar and spelling? Or that are more interested in your looks and don’t seem to have read your profile at all? As I was writing this, I had a guy write me that I’m a “haghty bithc” because I told him I refused to answer messages without proper spelling and grammar. Is that so wrong?
Good luck with your grading!
HistoryKnight writes:
He said what to you?! Report him! What a jerk!
Women don’t seem to be that bad with grammar and spelling, though I do get some text speak and a lot of cajoling. One memorable message was when a woman told me I was cute enough and smart enough that she’d let me take her to dinner. She’d let me, as though it was an honor! Well, I guess it was to her. They all seemed to know at least something about me that was from my profile, however. I guess women pay more attention to details like that? We men sometimes seem to think that the caveman way of wooing is going to come back into style again any day now. And I am “man” enough to admit it.
The medieval period is my favorite. The classical era, with the Byzantine and Roman Empires, is my next favorite time period in history, though. I think I gravitated to the medieval era because I’m a wanna-be knight, if I’m honest. But I do at least try to be more chivalrous than the knights of old were.
My name is Marco Newton, but everyone calls me Mark. I don’t know if this is too early, but would you like to meet for a coffee maybe? There’s a nice café in the Parkway Place Mall where we could go.
ASouthernBelle writes:
My name is Mikah Thomas. And sure! I’d love to. When and what time? Or you can text me. My number is 256–555–4343.
(No further messages by ASouthernBelle and HistoryKnight are written.)
~March 23 — March 25~
PattonofLA writes:
I guess u don’t write men in prison or u not get my last message? I might get released next month
(ASouthernBelle deletes her profile.)
